Laughing at Myself

It's helpful to have a sense of humor when it comes to chronic illness.  I think I'd go nuts if I took these fibro fog antics too seriously.

Last week I was feeling terrible with an upper respiratory bug.  These illnesses are a challenge to recognize in the sea of fibromyalgia symptoms.  It wasn't until my breathing became labored and a cough appeared that I realized the additional fatigue, digestion issues and foggy focus were exasperated by the virus.

During this time, I continued to drive my children to school and on this one day, I (or we) had a great laugh.  At their school there is a car line at the back of the building.  I was sitting in the stopped traffic listening to the joyful noise of happy kids in the morning (well, two out of three isn't bad).  I remember my mind beginning to wander to what the day would bring me and carefully calculating how much energy I was beginning that particular day with.  Protocol for the car line is that the three front cars let children out and drive off then then next three drive up, drop off and so on.  As we sat, the three cars in front of me stopped and students hopped out and entered the school.  The cars in front of me drove off in single file and staying in pattern, I began to move the car ahead and continue to drive.  As I rounded the corner of the building, passing the drop off points, I heard my son gently say, "Mom?"  I politely said, "Yes?" and he replied, "You…we need to get out of the car."

As soon as they saw me smile, the laughter erupted from all four of us.

I ended up dropping them off at the side of the building and they walked around elbowing each other and laughing together.  If I were lacking a funny bone at that time, I would have missed the gratitude I felt about starting the day on a high note with my three teenagers.

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Vote on My Halloween Costume

Hi All,

I'm thinking about halloween.  I'm usually not a big fan, but it's nice to play dress-up once in a while.  My kids are going to a party next week and they're deciding what to be.  My son is planning to dress as a video game character and last I heard my middle child was going to be Where's Waldo and photo bomb all the pictures being taken.  My youngest has been in the garage building a wearable refrigerator.  So all this activity go me a-thinkin'.

Which one of the following do you think I should dress up as?

A healthy person- but what exactly does that look like?

A money tree

The triplet shuffle taxi - suspenders holding a cardboard car around me, labeled 'triplet shuffle'

Ghandi - but would I have to shave my head?

Fibro flare...I mean a Zombie - same thing right?  Feeling half dead, walk funny, bags under my eyes,
grabbing ahold of things so I don't fall down, eyes buggy from the prescription meds, mumbled words, jerky movements, hair a mess, maybe even wear my old bathrobe and slippers.


That's a pretty good start for ideas.  Send me your ideas.  I might just use your idea and post a picture here on my blog.

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Charlie Horse in My Cheeks

These illnesses never ceese to amaze me.  It is still mind boggling to gently brush by something and feel  radiating heat and pain travel through my leg.  The cold metal plate feeling in the back of my head is confusing as well.  They seem to create a question mark with my doctor's too because they don't quite understand fibromyalgia or what these symptoms are, completely.

Last night, I was enjoying conversation with my husband and he was making me laugh.  I so love to laugh and there are times when I don't have a funny bone, so when I do, I cherish the laughter that much more.  I was laughing so hard that my stomach hurt.  That's a pain I can deal with :)  It's also a pain that makes sense to me.  Then my cheeks started to hurt from the large smile that was created while the laughter burst from within.  Again, this is understandable and welcome discomfort.  All of a sudden, the pain in my cheeks increased and my facial muscles froze.  Both cheek bone muscles were tight, super-balls sitting just under my eyes.  As I realized what was happening, I began to laugh harder and the muscle under my eyebrow joined in on the tense fun.  I was laughing and trying to explain to Ray what was happening.  It's not easy to laugh and talk, but try to laugh and talk with a frozen face.  I realized that I wouldn't be able to release the tension in my face until I relaxed every muscle, so I needed to stop laughing to stop the biting charlie horses.

There has been some question about whether or not my body is experiencing type of Parkinson's Disease.  After this last symptom, I think it's time to see my neurologist again.  I'm glad that the sign urging me to make that appointment was through laughter and not something devastating.  This confirms that the Universe is conspiring for my good and sending me signs to redirect me when needed.  When I'm in tune and aware enough to see the signs, even the most enjoyable moments have their hidden messages.  I don't have to wait for the cosmic 2 x 4 up side the head to make an adjustment in my life.

I guess when my mother said to not make that face because it'll stay that way, she wasn't kidding :-D

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following my posts!!!

In Search of a Pink Tutu

It's been an unusually busy week and I'm in need of some laughter and fun.  I just don't know if I can muster up enough energy to laugh today, but tomorrow and the weekend would be perfect.  My sleep and daily routine has been compromised this week with the kids' camp schedule.  This was my choice to drive them to and from Boston every day this week and it's worth it to see them having so much fun. I didn't anticipate that the schedule would flatten me as much as it has.  I'm still learning what's doable and what's a struggle.  While I'm recovering, this weekend and next week, I''m going to come up with at least three things to do for pure fun.

My first is to wear a tutu for either running or for a full day.  I saw some awesome, multicolored leggings that would go perfectly with a red or pink tutu.  I like the full day idea....hmmm.  I must think more about this :)  I like how when a child walks in a tutu, there's a bit of a bounce on the ruffles.  That makes me smile.  I'm hoping that if I wear mine for a day, it makes people smile and not call the guys in the white suits.

Maybe I can convince my kids to join me in dance party, in the house, this weekend.  They can teach me the new steps and I can teach them the sprinkler or the Henry Winkler.

On a side note, I'm in bed, hardly able to move my body and I'm lucky there is auto correct on this program, because my fingers aren't hitting the letters needed.  I'm grateful that even with the exhaustion and extreme heaviness of my eyes, that my spirit is flowing through to express what is underneath this shell of a body.  Physically, everything is in slow motion and there is so much I feel I want to do, but I know I must regain my energy stores.

The thing that comes through when I'm allowing myself to go beyond the physical, is finding a tutu, so I can embarrass my kids....I mean, so I can have fun and enjoy some child like energy and laugh.  So far, I have a tutu plan, but no tutu.  I'm sure the universe is working on this already :) Then I have a dance party planned and I need one more plan for fun and laughter.

Nothing is coming to mind, so I'm going to ask for your help.  Please share with me what you do to laugh and have fun.  What do you do to get out of a rut?  Do you have any ideas for me?  I'd love to hear all about them!

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following my posts!!!

Let the Joy Flow Through

A wonderful day, I must say!  Yesterday was rainy and dark, which is usually a trigger for some good size aches and pains.  I made it through with low scale discomfort and a good attitude.  One of the things that really helped my attitude was knowing that I had something to look forward to.  Today, there was a birthday party for my cousin, whom I haven't seen in almost a year.  I was excited to travel to see family...lots of family, but also concerned with the weather.  Knowing that rain and cold often trigger a flare, I didn't want to over commit.  I was concerned that the 2.5 hours to drive there would do me in.  I was also thinking about my Mom.  She was planning to go, but I also know that, like me, she needs to cancel last minute due to flares.  She called me yesterday, just to check in and talk about the traveling.  She told me that she heard the weather was going to clear and she was going to the party.  Not that she was probably going, that she was going.  She said that she was really looking forward to seeing family who we don't see as often as we'd like.  My mom, she's a great woman!  She said exactly what I needed to hear and I decided that I was going too, no wavering.

So, today, I gathered my daughters (Zyon and Ray had plans) and we set out on our road trip.  The party theme was luau and we were asked to dress for the theme.  Continuing with my positive attitude, we stopped, on the way, to pick up our grass skirts and lei's.  The drive was fun with music, girl talk, travel games and attempts to get other travelers to join in on our dance party.

When we got there, I adorned my grass skirt and lei, Jordan passed on the dress-up part and Hannah carried her lei in and eventually put it down on a table.  There were others at the party with some luau themed wear, but the best was my cousin, Guy.  He and I were the only party goers in grass skirts.  He and I were also best buds when we were kids.  My mom tells stories of the two of us always "being up to something".  The cousins, their wives and kids and grandkids, my aunt her guest and her son, my nephew and more were there.  Today, I felt connected.  My heart was open and reaching out to give hugs was easy and natural.  This isn't usually the case for me and I'm grateful that today I felt like me.

I truly enjoyed watching the kids playing together, talking, catching up and laughing.  I felt present to the people around and aware of taking it all in.  There was no overwhelm or shyness or self-consciousness at all.  Just my essence connecting with my family.  Pure joy.

The joy continued for the travels home with my girls stating that they love road trips.  We ate too much junk food, played the music loudly and they waved at cars for the first hour of the ride.  They enjoyed getting waves in return and most of the time people didn't wave and that was okay.  Then the game changed to dancing and trying to get others to dance along.  One car had all it's passengers bobbing their heads along with the beat of our music.  This got everyone laughing.  Connecting with strangers in a positive way really creates a wonderful energy.  I'm pretty sure that even those who didn't join in, but saw the crazy dancing going on in our car, may have gotten a chuckle out of it or a smile.

We stopped at the grocery store to get some healthy food to eat for dinner and we were all going to pick out what we wanted.  I got out of the car and walked around to meet Hannah (Jordan was getting tired and stayed in they car) and when Hannah saw me come around the car, still wearing my grass skirt and lei's, she crawled back into the car.  She was so embarrassed she wouldn't go into the store with me.  I told her I wasn't ready to end the party, but she wasn't going for it.  I did consider what it may be like for a 13 year old to go into the local grocery store with her mom in complete luau attire.  I took off my costume, and she came into the store with me.  As we were going through the entry, one of her classmates came out with his mother.  Hannah and I said 'hi', waited for the doors to close behind us and started to crack up laughing.  I thought, she must be really happy that I decided to take the grass skirt and lei off.  I could have caused a major event for the topic of discussion at school on Monday.

Today, I allowed the joy to flow through...and it felt so good, I didn't want to it to end.  So, tomorrow, I'm going to continue with expressing and experiencing joy and maybe I'll even go jogging in my grass skirt.

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following!