HEY! Where'd I Go?

It feels like, all of a sudden, I'm feeling ill again.  I know it's not 'all of a sudden'.  When I think back to see what got me to this place, I know that I haven't stuck to my healthy living plan.

The first couple of weeks before school begins and after school starts (I just realized that's a full month), are constant transition.  I feel I did well with sticking to my health plan for the first two weeks then...everything went *kaplooey*.  Here's a play-by-play of what I think happened...

new daily schedule for the kids, new daily schedule for my husband, which creates a new daily schedule for me, sports sign-ups, school paperwork X 3, busier kids, busier husband, increased need for Mom's taxi service, death in the family, old hurts surfacing, new and exciting class at my spiritual center, more homework than ever before, mind numbing electronics getting in the way of responsibilities, Mother-in Law in the hospital, managing MIL bills, banking, mail, apartment.  family wedding out of town, the kids and I were hired to be extras on a movie shoot...till midnight, less sleep, good stress and bad stress effecting sleep and digestion, adjusting to faster pace, colder weather (this is a tough one for me) and less sun, blah da blah da blah da.

I didn't do a very good job of keeping my sleep schedule consistent, especially the evening of the movie shoot. (but, but...that was fun).  My eating was not on track.  The foods were but the timing was off and the amount of food decreased and my supplements were missed at times.

....And I wonder why I'm not feeling like myself...

I hadn't reached my 100% (I will), but I was heading toward a 30% ish increase in energy, focus and less pain.  That's not too bad for starting at 0, and working with this new healthy living plan for about 6 weeks.

My self care got off track through the weekend and this is only one day of feeling like I hit that 0 energy.  Today there were things I wanted to do but I made a promise, to myself, that I'd stay in bed, eat right, sleep and take the supplements on routine.  Tomorrow, I'll ease myself back to doing a few things, although I totally want to jump into a full day of productivity.  I know what my body needs, I just need to keep re-calculating to stay on track.

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following my posts!!
Terri

What to Do With These Emotions

There are so many aspects of life happening at this time.  The mystic and time must learn how to cooperate.  Without cooperation, there is dis-ease.  

My mother-in-law was in CICU for congestive heart failure last week.  We were successful in transitioning her to a Rehabilitation facility to help her get stronger and do some supervised healing.  I am grateful that during my own Extreme Self-Care process, I was in a place where my energy levels were consistent.  It gave me the opportunity to really be available to Ma during her time of need.  We'll take the next steps to meet her needs as they come up.

The triplets started their final year of Middle school, last week.  Every new school year creates a swirl of energy.  There's excitement, anticipation, sadness about Summer ending, school supplies, new shoes, new clothes, new routines, earlier mornings, etc... Four days before school began, my three had an opportunity to experience their last year of Middle School at a very good private school.  As a family, we chose to add school applications, re-evaluating finances and a major decision, about education, to our already full plate.  Each day was another level of excitement about he possibilities ahead.  It's been decided that the best route, for the kids, would be to finish school where they have been for the last seven years.  Consistency and looking at the big picture of finding a High School (or three), for next year, were the deciding factors.

A dear friend passed away yesterday.  The news hit me hard.  I've been allowing my heart to open more and more this year and I've allowed humility and vulnerability into my life.  It seems as though, that may explain why with her passing, I've been more emotional than any other person's passing prior. I remember my wonderful grandmother deteriorating with Lou Gehrig's Disease and eventually dying.  I didn't cry at the wake or the funeral.  I was sad and I missed her, but there were no tears.  I am surprised that there are so many tears this weekend.  This is very new to me and I continue to remind myself to allow the flow of energy and emotion.  Whatever I'm feeling, in the moment, is exactly what I'm meant to feel.  

It feels as though there are these layers of life changing events, piled on top of each other.  It seems as though, at times, it's too much to handle.  As a mystic, I see the flow of events and experiences, in this world, as the natural state.  When significant events and experiences emerge in a short timeframe, the flow becomes more convoluted...to my toddler-stage inner mystic.  I'm being pulled into my Human experience, throwing off the balance of Spirit and Human.  As a growing mystic, I often encourage myself to see a new perspective and rise above the limiting beliefs and emotions of the Human experience.  I'm learning that it's not an either/or situation.  I am unable to live in a purely spirit realm and I'm unable to live in a purely human realm.  It's time for me to find a balance between the Faith based spirit and the Human experience.  Neither is better than the other and there is no competition needed.  The competitive energy of trying to become more spiritual than human is, eventually, futile.  The essence of living fully is finding that 'special sauce'.  The perfect mix of Spirit having a Human experience.  There are gifts on both ends of the spectrum.  

Today, I will be gentle with myself.  I will allow the emotions with no judgement.  I will allow my body to express itself in whatever way it needs to at this time.  What feels like physical pain and weakness are not bad.  They are just the way my body communicates to me.  "Take a break...for as long as you need to. You must rejuvenate." No expectations. No attachment to some end result. No self-judgement. It's time to be.

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following my posts!!!

Terri