Friday, May 31, 2013

A Blogger's Debut (repost)

I've gone back and forth many times about starting a blog.  My biggest hiccup is around the lack of consistency fibromyalgia brings to my life.  You see, I'm a recovering Type A personality and struggle with not being as reliable as I use to be.  Once upon a time, I had a great deal of respect for people who were reliable, consistent and great at follow-through.  So, there's my dilemma; as a strong woman living with fibromyalgia, I live day-to-day.  I'm unable to commit to anything because I never know when the Brain Fog will roll in, the aching pain will strike, or the limbs will take an unplanned hiatus.  According to my beliefs around who deserves respect, I no longer fit into my own set of 'rules to live by'.  This creates a bit of an internal conflict!

Here I am, ready to take on creating a new belief that fits much better into my life and doesn't exclude me from the level of respect I deserve.  I'm moving forward to bring peace to the inner conflict.  I'm moving forward to find the Silver Linings of Fibromyalgia!

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2002.  It took many doctors, my persistence and the wonderful support of my Mom and sister to finally get someone to believe me.  My Mom was diagnosed many years ago and my sister has struggled with Autoimmune Disease for quite some time.  I'm very fortunate to have family members who can relate to this strange and unpredictable chronic illness.

At first it was difficult for me to determine whether or not my fatigue and soreness were just a side effect of being a single Mom of two year old triplets.  Of course that's what all the doctors said, too.  I heard that I was under too much stress, I wasn't getting enough sleep and that I wasn't taking good enough care of myself.  Well, that pretty much describes every mother of toddlers.  Then my left arm went numb at work.  My brain would tell it to move and it wouldn't.  My arm was very cold and tingly and it scared the hell out of me.  That's when I called in all the troops (supports) and found a doctor who half-believed I had fibromyalgia.  At the time, that was good enough for me.  At least I had a name to the random pain that would switch from a leg one day to my neck another.  Since then, I've been diagnosed with IBS, Arthritis, Raynaud's Disease, Hip Bursitis, Pituitary Adenoma, Pancreatic Cyst, Goiter, Hypotension, Major Depression, PTSD and Anxiety.  Phew.  I'm thinking, "Of course I have anxiety.  Who wouldn't with that medical journal of a file."

These last 11 years have had some tsunami's and some beautiful white sand with calm beaches at sunset.  I've learned a great deal about how to manage my fibro and after each Flare or Fog, I relearn it all over again.  I'm grateful that I bounce!

I plan to be here, sharing my stories and experiences, when I can.  You'll get a glimpse of who I am, how I live, my strengths and my vulnerabilities.  Above all, I hope I inspire, encourage and activate some of you to keep seeking the Silver Linings!