Friday, December 6, 2013

Whacked by a Canoe Paddle

It seems as though the increasing lack of sun, this time of year, has a huge effect on me.  Now, I know my family members who are reading this are saying, "ya think?!".  Maybe I see it more clearly because I'm more mature and last year, I was able to recognize the peeps who truly support me.  Having that support has made a world of difference because I can trust that when I'm having a tough day, they'll be honest with me and they know who I really am.  They know that my struggle is not who I am and that I need a bit more of their support through the bumps in the road.

I've experienced some wonderful progress with my health and I'm incredibly grateful that I never gave up hope.  I had a choice.  I could have continued to be put down, no believed, and be taking prescription drugs with all the side effects.  With that choice I'd probably be laying in bed 6-7 days a week needing my family to make me meals, manage my pills and lose all my independence.  Come to think of it, if I had continued with the recommendations of mainstream medicine, I'd have a nifty colostomy bag to be changed on a regular basis too.

My other choice could have been to stop seeing any doctor and stop my search for a healthy life.  If I had gone down that road, there's a chance I'd be in a padded room with locked doors and a purse for my colostomy bag called fido.  I'd also have severe pain all over my body and a wheelchair.

I chose to hold onto hope, searching for someone or a group to guide me toward a healthy life.  I'm now fibro-flare free, my trigger points have calmed down, my digestion is improving and I recently had enough stamina to have four 'normal' days in a row.  Each day, I was able to get up, make breakfasts, lunches, drive the kids to school, housework, paperwork, cook lunch, cook dinner, enjoy my family and not once did my body need to lay down.   This is a huge change from my body screaming at me every couple of hours to go lay down.  The fatigue and pain were so great it brought tears to my eyes.  The excitement bubbles up in me when I think about how I've found the road that leads me to a sustainable healthy life.

One area that needs some attention is how my body reacts to diminishing sunlight.  It's a good thing I don't live in those areas of the world that are dark for months.  I'd go bat bleep crazy! I've been feeling tugs of sadness here and there.  I notice and take note, but today, the waterworks began.  I know what this means because it's a pattern that accompanies the winter months.  Hand-in-hand like best friends frolicking through the fields…of cold and snow.  They seem to be very happy together but I feel
terrible.  My emotions go from upset to concerned to angry to sad to embarrassed to full-out ugly blubbering.  Sometimes all within an hour.  It's quite exhausting ta' boot!  Today has felt as though I got whacked by a canoe paddle, on an emotional level.

Have I mentioned my doctor?  The great Naturopathic doctor…Dr. Bier.  If I haven't said it in the bunch of posts prior, I have the best doctor.  He hears me, he listens, we're partners on my healing journey.  I saw him today and we are taking action with the winter blues pattern.  I am confident that this challenge will also be one that I can look back on and smile because of how much I grew and learned from it.

It's sometimes difficult to share the truth about chronic illness, but I think it is much more important to share the not-so-pretty parts to help people understand the hidden struggles we go through.  I also share to remind others with chronic illness that they are not alone and to remind myself and others to keep an eye out for the gifts.

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri