A Look Back on 2013

I came across a cool feature on my phone.  It is a video creator that lets you choose photos or videos taken on your phone and creates a slideshow or video of memories.  I just completed a review of 2013 using just the photos on my phone.

This process got me to thinking about the year that is coming to an end and what I've experienced, how I've grown and the pleasures I enjoyed.  I tend to have a full life and this year was no different.  Here are some of the memories that were stirred while making my year end video.

* A two year process with my disability claim ended.  I received approval and an immense weight was lifted from my shoulders.  With the absence of this stress, I was able to move forward with my healing process in my own way.

* I found an amazing doctor and am experiencing amazing healing through mind, body and spirit.

* I started this blog with the intent of recording my emotions, experiences and life challenge with fibromyalgia and to remind myself to keep an eye out for the gifts.  I also shared it publicly on the off chance that others out there may be able to relate, be encouraged, inspired and motivated to take action in their own healing process.  I've had surprising results, amazing feedback and followers from 39 countries.

* My family said 'goodbye' to a wonderful person who meant a great deal to us.  Nancy, we love you and will always hold memories, of times together, close to our hearts.

* I'm taking a course through The Venus Project and loving it.

* I've opened to getting to know and spending time with like-minded peeps.  I've made a couple of neat new friends.

* My children have impressed me, again.  Their determination, dedication and focus to take a leap of faith and apply for private high schools shows me that they are willing to walk their own path in life.  Many of their friends are not taking the same steps, some are discouraged by their parents and some don't feel they would get in.  My three have shown that they are not afraid to try.

* My husband shows me how strong he is every day.  He takes care of two senior parents.  His father is  87, lives on his own and is a proud man.  His mother has medical challenges and we moved her from her home of 20+ years to a nursing home.  I know these changes and stresses of caring for parents has been hard on him and he has been a rock through it all.

I think I could go on and on although, I've probably posted most of it in my blog through the year.  Strangely, I have to go back periodically and read my own posts because I don't remember them.  Fibro brain, ya know.

I'm grateful for every moment of 2013!  Stay tuned for a post on looking at what I'd like to do in 2014.

Thank you for reading, forwarding, and following!!!
Terri

My Hair Follicles Hurt

Fibromyalgia is such a strange syndrome.  Pain bounces from one part of the body to another.  It hurts to be hugged at times.  My fillings ache on occasion.  There are even times when my eyesight becomes blurry.  I own a pair of glasses just for these incidences.

I woke up today with a massive cowlick.  I gently crawled out of bed, coercing my feet to cooperate with my legs and when I slowly passed by the mirror, I saw the aftermath of whatever turmoil caused my restless sleep.  First of all, I take five different sleep aids to tame the midnight jogs with my eyes closed.  My guess is that last night, if I wasn't jogging, maybe I was dreaming about being at a head banging concert.  Or maybe just dreaming about my hair being licked by a cow.  Just one area on the top of my head, toward the back, was standing on end.  With long hair, that is quite a task to achieve.  It stood about three inches up then the rest of the strands bent and cascaded downward…and not in the pretty way.

I stopped at the mirror and ran my hands through my hair, trying to look less frightening…or would that be frightened?  As my fingers gently touched my head, I felt the sensation of something yanking on my hair.  Thinking that my ring may have gotten tangled, I went to take off the ring that I removed a day prior.  I tried to just pat down the craziest parts when shooting pain scurried through my scalp.  I was able to touch the ends of my hair with no pain, but anywhere near the scalp was feeling like a full out hair pulling cat fight.

There are many symptoms of my fibromyalgia that I have not experienced in over 6 months.  The extreme body aches, loss of the mobility in my legs, extreme exhaustion, brain fog, etc.  Dr. Bier, through exam, tells me that there is improvement in my health and I have a long way to go to reach a healthy status.  It's one thing to hear him give me the good news of improvement, but just the slightest bit of improvement makes me feel really healthy.

I'm grateful that my body is communicating what Dr. Bier is reporting as well.  I may have improvement, and the reminders for me are these small signs of "not there yet".  My crazy painful follicles are a wonderful sign telling me to continue to take it easy, follow the healing plan and keep listening.


Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!

Terri

A Blip on the Radar

Today, 14 of our friends and relatives helped us move my mother-in-law's belongings from her apartment to our garage.  Over the last 3 weeks, my husband, kids and I have been packing the apartment, organizing and cleaning to prepare for today.  I was impressed that it took only 30 minutes to fill 7 cars with boxes and furniture.  One trip and we finished.

Although, I began to get overwhelmed with the process going so quickly, I experienced no fibro pain.  When I realized this, it occurred to me that we're well into November.  For the last few years, once the fall hit, the pain crept in.  My legs ached, my hips hurt, I got shooting pain in my back and my shoulders burned.  Lately, I've been out of bed more often than I've been in.  This must mean, PROGRESS with my healing!

A week ago, I felt some pain in my hips and my shoulder popped out of the socket while I was sleeping.  This happened last winter also.  While sound asleep, I roll from my back to my side and as I roll onto my shoulder, the joint dislocates…and it hurts; waking me from a deep sleep.  I usually have to focus on breathing calmly and relaxing my shoulder to coax it back into place.  My Rheumatologist told me I have lose joints.  It doesn't sound like a medical diagnosis, but it is a bit strange.  Over the years, once these symptoms flared up in the cooler weather, the avalanche of fibromyalgia symptoms grew.  Summers are easiest for me when it comes to fibro, but it seems as though this year is different.  Other than this little blip on my fibro radar, there's no avalanche.

After a day of packing, I would tell my husband that I'll be paying for all the effort, lifting and moving for the next week, but there was no consequence to my increased activity.

I'm noticing some improvement in my health and I'm grateful.  I'm also glad that I have a doctor who can give me a clearer picture of my overall level of health.  As someone who has learned to acclimate  to moving through life with extremely low energy, when I have a drip of energy, it feels like I could leap tall buildings in a single bound.  Dr. Bier brings me down to reality and helps me see that, yes, there has been improvement, and to continue to hold back on any leaping of buildings.  I have a long way to go to build my energy stores and repair damage to my body's systems.

There really is something to say about learning what works for you and doing it no matter what!

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

How Do I Contribute?

A huge question that I searched to find an answer to was, how do I contribute now that I have physical challenges.  I'm sure everyone can relate to this question on some level.  Even if you don't have a chronic illness, you've had the flu or broken a bone or maybe even allergies.  These things force you to shift from how you were in the world to contributing in another way.  It isn't easy to be a productive citizen then find yourself in bed for a few days...or more.  Many of us have even been taught to 'tough it out'.  I know that when I was in the work force, I had to be on my death bed with sickness before I would dare call into work.  Even if I had accumulated three months worth of sick days, my boss would always make me feel as though I was either faking it or taking advantage.

There are so many emotions that come up when we are derailed and laying in bed.  There's the guilt of feeling as though you must complete something.  There is the feeling of not having time to be sick. In reality, we probably get sick because we didn't take the time to care for ourselves in the first place.  Then there's the feeling of letting people down because they were relying on us.

Are you relating to any of this?

Now lets look at those of us with chronic illness.  We find ourselves on a downward spiral.  Metaphorically, we find ourselves with a cold that takes us away from our regular work and contribution in the world.  We are so struck with conflict within, that once we get use to the feeling of being sick all the time, we convince ourselves that we can still function with a bit of a cold.  It progresses to the flu that hangs around for a month then two and we begin to panic that we'll never recover from the flu.  As much as 'toughing it out' is ingrained in us, there's only so much push through the body can physically do before it collapses.  If we collapse, how and what can we possibly contribute to the world?  On a more basic level, how can I possibly support my family financially if I have the flu with no clear cure?

Our world really puts a great deal of pressure on us to make the money to pay for all the, so called, necessities to function in the world.  My experience is that we literally buy into people convincing us that we need things.  We don't need all that.  What we need is our health and to be pro-active about maintaining it.  We need clean food, clean water and shelter.  We need each other.

It is my belief that each and every one of us, no matter what our physical, mental or spiritual status is, has something positive to contribute.  It may be difficult to peel ourselves away from the expectations our society has taught us over our lifetime, but it's crucial to look beyond those misguided, possibly, well intended beliefs.  We must listen to our own voice!  It's the only way to uncover what it is that each of us is called to contribute.  I've heard many times that each of us has a gift to contribute to a thriving world as unique as our fingerprints.  No one can tell you what your gift is.  It is yours to open, discover and share.

Laying here in bed day after day, with physical discontent, I share with you words and concepts that I'm called to write down.  I offer these posts, publicly because they are my inner most journey that may just touch one life.  I have no expectation of anything in return.  Sharing my insights, intuitions, fears, hopes and dreams brings me joy!  This is my gift and my contribution for today.

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

I Motion to Make a Change

I motion to eliminate the phrase, "Fake it till you make it."  I've heard this phrase for many years and even though I didn't, personally, like the phrase, I tried to use it.  Why not?  I thought maybe there was something to it that I wouldn't understand until I tried.  My understanding is that if you can go through the motions of being the person you want to be, eventually you are the person you want to be.  It is possible that had a much too simplistic view of this phrase, but maybe not.  My experience 'faking it' felt like I was an imitation and not the real deal.  It didn't resonate with me and made me incredibly uncomfortable.

So here's the dilemma I bumped up against.  As you all know I manage my share of chronic illnesses.  I thought, maybe if I just fake that I'm well, I'll eventually be well.  I went through the motions of smiling and pretending that I didn't have pain.  I cooked for my family and on days when my chronic fatigue was heightened, I would stay out of bed, dressed for the day and find things to do.  By the end of the day, I was toast.  And I mean crispy burnt toast that is just not appealing.  There was no life left in me. So, I would go to bed (thinking that with the day of activity, I should sleep really well), wake up the next morning and will myself to do the same thing.  I continued for about two months, faking it and I sure as hell didn't make it.  I was worse off than I was when I started and really mad that it didn't work. I blamed myself.  Maybe I didn't do it right.  Maybe I missed a piece of the healthy puzzle and that one piece messed up the process.  Then I remembered that the concept of, "fake it till you make it" never felt good to me.  Ah Ha!  That technique is not for me.  It may be for others, but I new before even trying it that it wasn't for me.  Every day I learn more and more how to listen to my gut.


With some meditations and thoughts on how I accomplished something new, in my past, I remembered that acceptance of where I am is my first step.  Embracing the current state is important because with discourse around where we are now, a block is created.  The discourse can be the motivator to move into a different state, but being upset or angry about he current state will block the energy to change things.

I decided to make friends with my illness.  I have kind names for parts of my body that are challenged and I do forgiveness work around the illness.  This is how I've found peace (most of the time) with what my body is experiencing.  I'm also working on non-attachment to the end result.  If I am dead set on a specific state of health I need to be in, to consider myself healthy, and it doesn't go that way, exactly, it'll cause disappointment.  Having no attachment to the end result, creates less stress and no expectation.  I'm going to be and do for today, not for some expected tomorrow.  I want to live in peace and joy now and I want to live authentically.

Since I motioned to eliminate the phrase, "Fake it till you Make it", I feel it's important to replace it with something that may be more helpful.  I'm going to try, "Practice the new every day with no attachment to the end result".  What we must remember is that as long as we are practicing this new state everyday, we will eventually master it.  In the end, it may look exactly like you had imagined and maybe it won't. Either way, we'll be in a better place than we were before.

Will you join me?  Just, "Practice the New Every Day with Non-Attachment".


Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

I'm Dancing With My Health

What a great August in New England!  My energy was flowing with some to spare.  My sleep was good and my pain levels were down.  I was impressed with my stable moods and pleasant demeanor...inside and out.  You know, that inside demeanor can really make a difference.

When September came along, the weather got cooler and I continued with my normal routine.  There were a couple of changes...big ones...with the kids going back to school and my husband's mom needing more care but it was going well.  About a week ago, I was having a conversation with my husband about how September is a month of transitions and that every year, I prepare myself for the changes.  At the time, he was a bit blown away by the upset apple cart.  The triplets were adjusting to a new grade, more homework and the most important decision...what sport to do.  With all the hustle and bustle, I was calm and cool, centered and focused through most of it.

Yesterday was another story.  I was feeling off.  I felt more tired than I've been in a while, much more irritable and my inner demeanor was getting meaner.  From past experience, I know this is usually a sign of a fibro flare coming on.  This morning I had trouble getting out of bed.  It felt as though I didn't get a wink of sleep.  After the kids got on the bus, I went back to bed (moment of gratitude for the ability to go back to bed) and slept for another two hours.  Eleven hours of sleep and I still felt like a zombie.  I've been going over and over my routine to see if I've gotten away from an important aspect of my healing routine and besides my birthday celebration last Saturday (a little cake and a glass of wine), I'm on track.  Is it the change in weather, the increased stress that I'm managing well or maybe that this is my peak allergy season?  I may not ever know.

What I do know is that I'm blessed to have had such a healthful Summer and that I have a wonderful new doctor.  I also know that these challenging days or weeks will creep in until my body is completely healed.  It may take a short time or a long time to nurse my body, mind and soul back to full health and that's okay with me.

I'll step left when I need to step left and step right with the change in weather or song.  I'll do the dosie do and turn myself around during the healing process.  Listening to my body and my intuition is important so I can do the dance steps that flow with this process.  If I'm taking misstep, there's tension and resistance to the direction I'm meant to go.  Each day I learn a new step to this dance with my health.

Now to find a way to ease the mean in my inner demeanor.  More self love will be my first step there.


Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

The Naturopathic Doctor's Visit

Yesterday, I had my first visit ever, with a Naturopathic Doctor.  I've done some alternative therapies in the past, like acupuncture, massage and reiki. Although, I've never had guidance around what combination would work best for me.  I've always felt strongly that, in conjunction with a doctor's expertise and a clear plan for food intake, exercise, the right supplements and treatments, my body would be able to heal.

I was nervous but hopeful about the Naturopathic Doctor.  I did my research ahead of time, and received some great feedback from others with Fibromyalgia, chronic pain and chronic fatigue.  My hesitation around seeing this doctor, was coming from my many challenging attempts to explain to a new doctor what I was going through.  My experience was that I'd be spending time and energy trying to prove myself to someone I didn't know and someone whom I didn't know if they could help me.  On many occasions, it's been a waste of my time and energy.  The feeling of hope came from the feedback I got as well as from a strong feeling that I'm on the right track with my healing.  I looked at this doctor's website and scoured through it to see if there were any red flags or green flags.  I found no red and all green.  One of the green flags was the doctor's approach.  He combines healing practices and beliefs from all over the world and not just America.  The information on his site was in simple terms and quite understandable to a fibro brainy person.  I liked seeing the information about diet and finding the right foods to eat based on your blood type and body type.  There's fancy scientific words for this, but my brain just doesn't retain that stuff right now.  I felt that what I was seeking was all in this one place; a healthy, all natural, alternative healing center that looked at the person as a whole.  Every system in the body needs to work with, not against, all the other systems in the body.  If the pancreas is not working efficiently and effectively, the sugars in the body are irregular leading to hypoglycemia or diabetes and can contribute to fat storage.  Spikes in sugar levels will take their toll on the adrenal glands, which in turn could lead to chronic fatigue.  Now, I'm not a doctor but, even in brain fog, I can see the obvious negative chain reaction illness can cause in the body.  Seeing that everything I had hoped for, in my medical care, may be under on roof, I was excited to see this doctor.

My appointment was 3 hours and nothing short of mind blowing.  One of the first things the doctor told me was that he did not want to hear about any diagnosis or challenges I've been dealing with.  He would read that later in my paperwork, after he did his unbiased exam.  His exam consisted of a finger prick blood test to determine my blood type, blood pressure, multiple pulse areas, examining my eyes and determining body type.  I was comfortable and able to stay in my clothes, not having to put on one of those horrific paper johnnies.  The blood type exam determines the best foods to eat and this, for me was the most crucial part.  I've tried for years to find the foods that work best for my body.  All I've been able to come up with is that sugar doesn't work for me and carbs, which turn into sugars in the body, don't work for me.  Not knowing much else, I just started cutting things out, hoping that I'd begin feeling better soon, until I found myself as a raw food vegan.  Come to find out, I should be eating red-meat protein at least 3 times a day.  Raw vegis don't work for my digestion and I was right about the sugar.  So...as they say in the south, "Butter my biscuits!"  Who knew?  This explains why I was craving meat when I finished my juice fast.  Oh, and he also said that with my energy levels at a 0, a juice fast is not a good idea.  Oops...too late.  The doctor concluded so many things about my current state of health.  He didn't need convincing.  He didn't even need me to tell him what my challenges are. He told me and was right on target.  He told me about my wacky hormone levels, the hypoglycemia,  the chronic pain, chronic fatigue, pancreatic cyst, IBS, poor memory, neuro symptoms connected to difficulty walking and so much more.  He was detailed, understandable and caring.

I was thrilled to have walked away with a meal plan designed to help me heal, therapeutic choices to consider and natural supplements that are formulated for my body type and specific challenges.  And to think, none of them have a big warning on them or a long list of small-print side effects that end in, "possible death".

It's important to me to have a team member who also believes that the body is very intelligent.  If given the love, compassion and support it needs, it can heal itself.  How many of us never put time or thought into how the body would thank us if we are gentle and compassionate towards it.  I now feel as though my team is complete and ready for the healing process to truly begin.



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Completed 14 days of Juice Fast

It's been a couple of weeks now since I completed my juice fast.  I drank only fruit and vegetable juices for 14 days.  When I began, I didn't know how long I would juice for and had a sense that my body would let me know when it was time to eat solids again. I was right, my body was loud and clear when it was time to have regular food.

First, I should say that juicing was a great experience.  I've never done a fast that lasted longer than 24 hours before.  I did very well with only having high concentrated vitamins and nutrients in fluid form.  It's amazing how many carrots it takes to make a 20 oz glass of juice.  Ray and I were going through enormous bags of carrots, apples, ginger, kale and celery.  After about 3 day, we began to make up our own concoctions.  Ray was craving tomatoes, so we came up with a tomato, celery, scallion and sea salt juice.  I tried to make a banana and avocado drink, but realized very quickly that they don't juice very well.  They just squish.  It didn't taste very good either.

I especially enjoyed, and still do, picking kale from my garden to juice in the morning.  So far, my favorite juice is Kale, carrots and granny smith apple juice.  We were spending about 2 hours a day standing at the juicer to produce 6-8 20oz glasses of juice for each of us.  With one glass taking ten carrots, three apples and a handful of kale, we were going shopping every other day.  The time spent was well worth it, for me.  I was happy to be drinking juice because my digestive system didn't have to work very hard.  It gave my tummy a well deserved break.

After about 12 days, I began to get hungry.  Part of it may have been because I had a full schedule of doctor's appointments that week and kept forgetting to drink, until I was famished.  By then, some carrot juice really wasn't satisfying.  It's very important to drink juice every two hours so the body doesn't reach that point of feeling hungry.  At day 14, I had this intense craving for meat.  I didn't care what kind it was, I just wanted to sink my teeth into some protein.  That's was the sign from my body saying, "Ok, we're good now.  Can you please give me something with substance!?"

As I slowly got my body back on solid foods, I realized that I truly don't know what foods work best for my body.  Over the past two years, I've had so many health issues, I just began to cut things out of my diet with hope that I'd feel better.  I stopped eating all dairy, coffee, gluten and finally all meat.  At about the same time period, I was in touch with an old friend who had seen a Naturopath for some health issues and she raved about the treatments she received.  That's when I decided it's time to get some real answers, from a trained professional, about the foods that will work best for me and carry me to a state of optimal health.

The juice fast had its challenges and its great benefits.  I will do it again, as well as continue to have fresh juice once a day.  It seems as though this fast was a catalyst to have me look closer at the nutritional aspects of healing.  I'm looking forward to my first appointment with the Naturopath, tomorrow morning.  I'll be sure to share my experience.

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Clothing is Such a Pain

One of the aspects of fibromyalgia that hit me hard today, was how painful clothing can be.  This is something that I've found difficult to explain to doctors and others who don't have fibro.  For many of us, some days there's muscle or joint pain, some days there's headaches, some days our clothing hurts and most days it's a random combination of any of these.  It's easier to help people relate to the muscle pain because it can be very similar to a strain or exercising to the point where walking down steps is a stabbing agony.  Similarly, describing joint pain can be related to a sensation that many people have experienced.  When it comes to explaining the pain of seams, elastics, buttons or just a fabric rubbing against the skin as painful, I get blank stares.

Today started with an immediate discomfort from the collar on my t-shirt.  It was just a simple round neck t-shirt that I quickly threw on, to go for a walk.  As soon as it touched the front of my neck, I felt the pressure.  It was loose fitting, but just the fabric, gently sitting at the front of my neck, began to trigger the signals to the brain saying, "too tight!".  I've been at this long enough to know that if I didn't change into a v-neck shirt, I'd land myself into bed with a migraine.  I'm pretty sure my husband has gotten use to me jumping into my jeans in the morning and within seconds tearing them off to grab the leggings in the drawer.  He probably thinks it's a fickle girl thing, but nope, it's a pain thing.  I usually wear the basic round neck t-shirt to exercise, because that's what I have, and it doesn't bother me.  Every day is different and I've learned to pay attention, listen and respond to what my body is trying to tell me.

After exercise, it was the sneakers that were boring into the soles of my feet.  I still haven't figured out how a flat surface can feel as though it's drilling a hole into the bottom of my feet, but I can tell you it's torture.  So, those babies got yanked off and put away.  Then it was the seatbelt in the car.  Every turn or bump we went over, the seatbelt would saw just a little deeper into my skin.

I woke up this morning with a plan.  There was one thing I needed to do, and that was to get to my doctor's appointment, and one thing I wanted to do and that was to clean off the dining room table.   Often when I have a day that starts out the way this one did, I continue to adjust, listen and adjust again as quickly as possible so I can avoid a full blown flare.  It didn't seem as though it was too much to expect for the day and I would pace myself.  It's still hard to release, let go and accept that my body is needing some big, roomy clothes and a tempurpedic mattress.  Today the big roomy clothes and bed is where I landed and the dining room table is still cluttered.  I guess I'll save that for another day.

There's a level of stir crazy that I hit when I've been gentle with my body, staying still and listening for days on end.  I have an active spirit and when the brain fog lightens up, an active mind.  So, I push the boundaries at times, hoping that one day I'll just 'mind over matter' the chronic illness and will myself into health.  As much as I do believe that there is a cure for this chronic pain and illness, I also believe that it starts with awareness, inner healing and treatments that look at the body, mind and soul as a whole.  There needs to be a rebalancing of all the working systems of the body.

Gotta go, the wrinkles in this sheet, on the bed, are killing me.

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A Passion for Healthy Living

It just feels so good to know that I'm doing the right things for better health.  It's not the feeling of depriving myself or having to do things a certain way, as in a forced action, but a natural enthusiasm to do them.  I'm talking about everything from eating healthy foods, learning more about which food help my body, which food corporations are in alignment with my values, exercising, choosing to be around positive people, learning from those who have been there, paying attention to the breadcrumbs that are in my path and listening to my inner guidance through prayer and meditation.

Winter time has been a more challenging time for my body experiencing fibromyalgia and the foods that are readily available during that time of year, are not the best for my wellness.  Spring and Summer bring so many more opportunities for healthy eating.  Last year, my husband and I changed our eating habits drastically.  I had known, for a few years, that caffeine, sugar, gluten, dairy and a number of night shade vegetables wreaked havoc on my system.  Many of these foods caused inflammation, which turned into some painful days, some affect my capacity to think clearly and make sound decisions (brain fog) and some stopped my digestive system completely.  I tried many times to change my eating habits but found it very challenging when I was shopping and cooking for four other people in my household who loved to eat what I couldn't have.  My will power was directly connected to my energy levels.  When the chronic fatigue was acting up, my body would want the quick energy foods like carbs and sugar to try to bring up my energy.  That all changed when Ray and I were at a seminar together and a food documentary was shown.  He got the message immediately.  He was someone who  would eat instant oatmeal for every meal, always have an extra large Dunkin Donut's tea in hand and think nothing of eating a bag of chocolate chip cookies as an evening snack.  After the documentary was shown, he walked straight to the trash and threw away his XL tea with extra sugar and hasn't had caffeine since.  Through the winter, we've veered off our healthy eating track, just a little.  Now, we are committed to getting back on track and with some additional research, I know even more about what foods will help me heal, not just keep my pain at bay.

Yesterday, we started a 30 day juice fast.  I've read, watched documentaries and researched the benefits of juicing and have wanted to get a juicer for months.  Again, Ray saw a documentary with me and the next day, we were out buying a juicer.  This is our second day and I can already feel the benefits.  I admit, this early in the game, it may be the placebo effect, but I'll take feeling better any day.  I'll write more about the progress as we go along in the next 28 days.

The natural enthusiasm I mentioned earlier is popping up in areas I never thought I'd be enthusiastic about.  Politics has never been one of those areas I've been very interested in. Lately, I've been curious about what I can contribute to do my part on a bigger scale.  I've created a daily practice of self care, I am contributing in areas where I can, locally and I feel a pull to help on a national and global scale.  I see the protests by everyday people, who just want to be treated fairly and I wish I were there with them.  I can feel an uprising of personal advocacy within myself and a kinship with those who are putting their heart and souls into making change.  One small thing that I was introduced to is an app, called Buycott, for my phone. I can scan food barcodes to find out if the company is in alignment with my values.  This gives me a choice to support them by purchasing their products or not.  I'm finding this information very powerful.  I feel as though I have a say in what I feed my family and what I put into my body.  I find comfort in the truth and being able to make my own decisions based on the truth and not based on the marketing ads we are flooded with everyday.

Choice is huge when it comes to our healthy lives.  It took me almost 40 years to realize that I could choose who I spend my time with, who I learned from and who I would allow into my inner circle.  I was conditioned to think that if someone was in my life for a very long period, I was obligated to stick by their side.  People change, and sometimes in those long term relationships, people grow in different directions.  Priorities may change or something that had been tolerated for years becomes a huge obstacle to try to stay true to yourself, the longer you choose to tolerate it.  I feel the pull to be my divine self and I've lost some important people in my life because of it.  I see this as a clearing.  Sometimes things, towns, jobs or people just don't fit into the divine plan any longer and to continue on my path, I must allow the changes and sometimes make difficult choices.  I am grateful for my faith.  Without it, these changes would have been impossible, but once a decision was made, someone or something else came through, and lifted me to a new vibration.

Health, being my number two value in life, poses some challenges as I experience fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, IBS, and the list goes on.  I'm committed to extreme self care, which includes my whole self.  Mind, body and spirit.  This 30 day fast is another stepping stone of learning how to heal my body, mind and spirit.

I'm happy to have you be a part of my journey and I hope there are some nuggets you can take with you to grow and allow your divine self to burst through.

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following my posts!!!

My Grateful 4

Long ago I started being mindful of what I was grateful for.  It was a very nice shift from the obsessions over world crisis, tomorrow's unknowns and stresses of the day.  My children began their own Grateful 4 journals at age 6, and we would sit together, on the floor, sharing the four things we were each grateful for.  Here are a some of their entries;

         I thakfl fo my brothr am sisr (I'm thankful for my brother and sister)
         Im thakfl fo my scl (I'm thankful for my school)
         Im thakfl fo my famole (I'm thankful for my family)
         my mom hgs me then i hg hr bak (my mom hugs me then I hug her back)
         pece (peace)
         Love
         Stors (stars)

Today, here are mine;
1.  Family!  Starting with my husband and three wonderful children.  As I sit here and write, I can hear the heart-swelling sounds of teenage laughter.  I sit here knowing that my husband was able to take a rare, but supremely deserved day of rest.  He literally watched movies all day.  Which is one of his favorite things to do, being a film and tv person.  I've written a whole post on my amazing husband, so I'll use this time to praise my offspring.  I feel they are my angels.  Since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew that they chose me.  I'm grateful that they chose me and I strive to be the best guide to them in this world, that I can be.  Although they are triplets, they are very different people, with very different interests.  Every day, I'm thankful for their light, gifts and personalities.  As a single mom, for 12 years, to these miracle three, I am blessed that I was able to bond with them so closely.

2.  Health!  It may seem strange for a fibro chick to be grateful for health, but it's true.  Health and wellness have always been a top core value in my life.  I look at each day, good and challenging, as opportunities to learn more about bettering my health and taking stock in the health I have.  I can eat healthy foods, exercise every day, walk, communicate, create, and explore.  These are all wonderful aspects of health.  My physical and mental selves don't always function the way I'd like them to, but then I see it as a good lesson in non-attachment to the expectations of my experiences.  And where would the wonder and curiosity be if what I expected came my way all the time?

3.  Being alive during this World changing shift in consciousness!  This is one of the most important times in our world.  We are at a tipping point.  The dichotomy that surrounds us is creating war and peace.  We are learning about the true government and the cover-ups as well as the monopolies that parent numerous small companies, giving them great power.  On the other side, there are peace groups forming, social networks coming together to envision a better way to live in this world.  There are numerous individuals who are teaching us how to create a better world and it begins with taking responsibility of our own choices and our own lives.  There is an uprising of the people and I find it fascinating! Don't get me wrong, I've never been interested in politics, but observing, reading and learning about what is happening around the globe make me want to get involved.

4.   My process in blogging!  Writing about my inner experiences and being transparent about my world has given me great freedom.  For some, freedom comes from journaling and keeping it in a nice, sometimes hidden or locked, notebook.  Some find relief in venting to a friend.  I've tried many avenues to try to find what works best for me.  So far, writing down what is flowing through me in the moment creates a sense of relief.  After each post, I notice a lift in my energy.  I am doing something that I can truly enjoy and it flows with ease and grace.  I'm also receiving feedback from others who relate, or laugh or cry while reading my posts.  Bonus!  There is nothing better than doing something that comes form the heart and brings great joy that also benefits others!

What are your Grateful 4?

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