A Look Back on 2013

I came across a cool feature on my phone.  It is a video creator that lets you choose photos or videos taken on your phone and creates a slideshow or video of memories.  I just completed a review of 2013 using just the photos on my phone.

This process got me to thinking about the year that is coming to an end and what I've experienced, how I've grown and the pleasures I enjoyed.  I tend to have a full life and this year was no different.  Here are some of the memories that were stirred while making my year end video.

* A two year process with my disability claim ended.  I received approval and an immense weight was lifted from my shoulders.  With the absence of this stress, I was able to move forward with my healing process in my own way.

* I found an amazing doctor and am experiencing amazing healing through mind, body and spirit.

* I started this blog with the intent of recording my emotions, experiences and life challenge with fibromyalgia and to remind myself to keep an eye out for the gifts.  I also shared it publicly on the off chance that others out there may be able to relate, be encouraged, inspired and motivated to take action in their own healing process.  I've had surprising results, amazing feedback and followers from 39 countries.

* My family said 'goodbye' to a wonderful person who meant a great deal to us.  Nancy, we love you and will always hold memories, of times together, close to our hearts.

* I'm taking a course through The Venus Project and loving it.

* I've opened to getting to know and spending time with like-minded peeps.  I've made a couple of neat new friends.

* My children have impressed me, again.  Their determination, dedication and focus to take a leap of faith and apply for private high schools shows me that they are willing to walk their own path in life.  Many of their friends are not taking the same steps, some are discouraged by their parents and some don't feel they would get in.  My three have shown that they are not afraid to try.

* My husband shows me how strong he is every day.  He takes care of two senior parents.  His father is  87, lives on his own and is a proud man.  His mother has medical challenges and we moved her from her home of 20+ years to a nursing home.  I know these changes and stresses of caring for parents has been hard on him and he has been a rock through it all.

I think I could go on and on although, I've probably posted most of it in my blog through the year.  Strangely, I have to go back periodically and read my own posts because I don't remember them.  Fibro brain, ya know.

I'm grateful for every moment of 2013!  Stay tuned for a post on looking at what I'd like to do in 2014.

Thank you for reading, forwarding, and following!!!
Terri

A Frank Conversation With Myself

This is a conversation I've had to have with myself on many occasions throughout my life.  When I just can't take my behavior anymore, I sit myself down and ask the difficult questions.  The last time I did this, it was about my state of health.

Me:  Are you happy?

Myself:  No, I'm sick and I feel broken.

Me:  Do you want to get better?

Myself:  Yes, but..

Me: No buts!  Let's focus on the 'yes'

Myself:  It might not be possible for me to get better.  No one I know has healed Fibromyalgia and on top of it, I have tons of other things wrong with my body.  Plus, in order to heal, I'd need energy and I have none.  It feels hopeless.

Me:  Do you want to get better?

Myself:  Yes

Me:  I can't hear you....

Myself: Really, are you going to make me shout it?

Me:  Yes :D

Myself:  YES!!

Me:  Then you must believe that you can be healed.  So what if you don't know anyone who's been cured of Fibro before.  Maybe that's your path in life...to show others that it's possible and that there's hope.  It's not like you've never been a trail blazer before...think back at the numerous times in your life when you had a desire that seemed unreachable, there were no role models or maps to get your there and who got you there?

Myself:  Me.

Me:  That's right.  All those times were preparing you for this.  You needed to practice courage, creating a path that worked and taking some massive action.  Can you think of a challenge you may have had, with any of those past desires that you turned into successes?

Myself:  Uhmmmm....well...not really.  It just happened.  I had a deep desire and I made it happen.

Me:  What do you mean by, "I made it happen?"

Myself:  Well, I got this level of intensity where I wouldn't let anyone or anything get in my way.  It kind of felt as though I forced the issue, pushing so hard and sometimes got angry.  Now that I think back, my actions and intensity may have been misunderstood as aggressive by some.  It was the attitude of I want it and I want it now.

Me:  Is this the way you would want to achieve good health?

Myself:  Wow, when you put it that way, the high level of intensity seems to be the opposite of good health.  The feeling I had when I felt as though I was fighting against everyone and everything to get what I desired.....oh, not a good feeling.  I never intended to fight against anyone to get things.

Me:  Do you think there's another way?

Myself:  There must be! I've had enough life experience to realize that I don't need to fight my way through to get my desires met. Once I think about the desire and relate it to positive emotion and feelings, it flows to me.  Whether I get intense or insistent, doesn't determine the outcome.  It's the joy and peace around the desire that draws it to me.  That must mean that as long as there is a thought of a desire, connecting the desire to positive emotion and taking peaceful action, I can eliminate the pushy intensity.  



Have you ever had a conversation, with yourself, that looked a bit like this?

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Healing More Than I Expected

Over the last seven years, my body has deteriorated with pain and fatigue.  Over this time, I did my best to get better by eating better, exercising, resting when I needed to (or when I had no choice).  Still more physical ailments surfaced; thyroid issues, pituitary adenoma, pancreatic cyst, an intolerance to prescription medications and the list goes on.  It felt as though the layers were multiplying and the load was getting heavier and heavier.  All I wanted to do was shout

MAKE IT STOP!

I would have done just about anything to find some relief.  I tried so many alternative options, numerous doctors and specialists.  As is my nature...I fought on, becoming more and more drained to the point of not being able to cook meals for my family. Last Winter was a breaking point.  I had nothing left.  According to my Naturopathic doctor, I had negative left.  I had been borrowing energy from my organs in order to keep pushing along.  I almost gave up.  

Surrender...what a beautifully misunderstood word.  I did not will my surrender.  It was laid upon me by grace.  I let go of the notion that my life should and must be different than it was in that moment.  I said, OKAY to the pain, sadness, fatigue and fight.  I had nothing more to fight with and I just wanted peace.  While making peace with the current state of my health, I met Dr. Bier and a few other medical professionals who were not like the rest.  They gave me permission to listen to my intuition.  They told me that if exercise helped, to keep doing it.  Funny thing is, once I got the support around running, I walked.  I had nothing to prove to anyone...not even myself.  

I've opened to the power of Grace as a means to heal and WOW, I'm seeing much more than I expected.  My thoughts and intentions have been about the fibromyalgia.  I'm seeing my past hurts, disappointments, decisions, and emotional pain show themselves.  They need peace too.  

The more I wake up, the more I realize my eyes are not open yet.

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following my posts!!!

Terri

Sleep...Is it Really You?

Dear Sleep,

I see you've decided to show your face again.  I have to be honest, I've been pretty upset with your behavior for quite some time now.  It took me a couple of weeks to have you back before I truly recognized you.  I'm sorry that I was so angry and I forgive you for not being around much lately.  I realize that my racing mind, thoughts and behaviors have contributed to preventing you from doing your job.  I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I am partially responsible for not respecting your needs so that you can call in Mr. Sandman every night.

I'm glad you're back and I'm feeling so much better since you unconditionally found your way back into my life.  Mr. Sandman looks the same to me and I embrace that familiar state each time he visits.

Oh....and my dreams have returned as well as my energy.  I wake up in the mornings with much less fatigue.  Thanks to you, I'm that much closer to sustainable health.

I am so grateful for you and I'll do my best to not take advantage of you again (except for the occasional late movie or evening party).  And just to let you know, my three teens and husband are all on board for allowing me to be with you as much as I need.  I'm assuming they've noticed the happier, healthier me and want to keep me that way :)

See you tonight!





Thanks for reading, forwarding and following my posts!!
Terri

Nothin' Up My Sleeves

Although I was a professional clown for 10 years, there's no magic here.  I'm not pulling the wool over anyone's shoulders and I definitely don't have any secrets when it comes to my healing process.

I'm just like anyone else...you.  I've had great hardships, losses, I've felt unworthy and unlovable.  There were many times I felt as though life just crushed me and I was down for the count.  Ever since I was 3 years old, I've felt different; an outcast and that there was something wrong with me.  Each time the boulder of life rolled over me, I'd fall into a pity pot and soak there for a while, then I'd get angry and blame the world for all the despair it sent my way.  Every one and every situation around me was at fault.  Then I'd fight my way out of the pity pot and begin the journey of life again.  I practiced this pattern until I got really really good at it.  I was even proud that I pulled myself out so many times...and BY MYSELF.  That was a badge of honor, to do it on my own!  I didn't need anyone and I let people know too.  People, back then called me 'Spitfire' and I wore that name tag, front and center of my ego self.  I built up so many walls and escape routes that my mind was exhausted from remembering the maze of protection I used.

There were many baby steps along the way of opening my awareness, but it wasn't until I gave birth to my triplets when it really hit me.  I began to ask the big questions. Do I want to teach my children the same patterns, in life, that haven't worked for me?  Is there a better way?  If there were a way for me to heal in this lifetime, how could I do that?  Is there more to this life thing than just working, paying bills, feeling like $*** all the time and then dying?

I began my intense study of life and the possibilities of joy.  At that time, I didn't even really believe that life could be lived joyously, but I was determined to find out.  What would it hurt?  My first focus was my physical state.  I tapped more into yoga and exercise as more of a mindfulness activity than just the 'I should' attitude I had prior.  As I became more mindful, I began to feel again.  I was never a big cryer, but the awareness thing opened the floodgates.  Everything made me cry; movies, a first step, an observation of a kind gesture on the streets of Boston, you name it.  They were tears of joy.  Although, I didn't know that at first and I thought I was cracking up.

I gradually moved into a period in my life where I studied and took action with forgiveness in my life.  Those whom I blamed, whom I was hurt by and those I felt left me in despair, I forgave.  I took my time to find a small jewel I could take away from each of those relationships and brief interactions. To my great surprise, every single person and situation where I felt hurt and even broken hearted, there was a valuable gift.  As I came upon this gift in some, I'd get angry.  On one level, I didn't want to find a gift. That would allow me to continue to blame and be angry and get validation that it was just a horrible experience, period.  But no such luck.  There were many life lessons and unexpected gifts.

Oh, as much as I protected my heart, it began to open and it was painful and hard.  What if I soften and open my heart?  Of course people will take advantage and I'll be hurt even more, but I moved forward anyway.  I was cautious and intuitive with people and I began to trust again.

I had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia during this opening of awareness and from the beginning I knew that it was a symptom.  A symptom of what...well, I'm still working on that one.  My belief is that once I uncover the root of illness in Me (mind, body, spirit), then I love and care for the root cause.  Once the root is healed, the symptoms go away.  It sounds simple, but why would it need to be hard?

I continued my journey and found my spiritual home.  That was 12 years ago and looking back, I was so scared and hidden.  Unity on the River taught me so much about myself, about the world and gave me a place to be different.  I was an in-cast.  I learned and practiced affirmations, vision boards, read spiritual texts, began taking classes to be a Minister and totally embraced the transformation happening within.

Most recently, after years of disheartening doctor's appointments and being shuffled around from one expert to another, I was referred to Human Nature Natural Health where I feel I found my individualized sustainable Health Care home.  It is a place I resonate with and I share similar beliefs and values with.  I feel that I'm on the right track to sustainable good health.  It's a process, like any other, that doesn't happen over night.  I'm fine with that.

This is just a snippet of my journey.  I wanted to share it to let others know that it is possible to find joy and health.  It means taking full responsibility for your life, awareness, health and growth.  I'm going to be direct and let you know that it's not a cake walk and it takes hard work.  My quality of life is worth it and yours is too!  No one can do it for you and it can't be done alone!  There is no cookie cutter, overnight solution.

The key for everyone is balance.  Finding balance in the health of Mind, Body and Spirit.  You are worth it!  I encourage you to take one step at a time and that step might be to realize that you must love you to find whole health.


Thank you for reading, forwarding and following my posts!!!
Terri

Layover on My Trip to Shambhala

Earlier in my blog I wrote a post about vacationing in Shambhala.  Today, I got confirmation that I'm on my way to my favorite vacation spot (although I've never been there, I know it'll be my favorite).  One day, I'll be relaxing in this land of peace, tranquility and happiness.

As with any of my travels, I spend time planning for it and learning some of the customs of the area.  I've also noticed the universe sending me signs that I'm getting closer to my destination.  For example, when I began to be pulled toward the energy vortexes in Arizona, I had no idea how, when or why I'd be going.  I just new that it was a place I needed to see and experience.  My first step in the planning process was to push away any doubt in my mind, that I'd be able to go and stay there for any length of time.  I began affirming that I'd be visiting the red rocks and mountains of the area.  I spent part of my meditation time imagining that I was there.  I imagined how I felt sitting in the sun, surrounded by the clean air and healing energy.  I felt relaxed and happy.  I visioned the flight, the place I'd stay in and the people around me.  It was important for me to bring the entire experience into my body and mind as if it were already happening and this meant including as many of the senses and the details of the trip, as I could.  I began noticing AZ license plates.  I'd hear new stories about friends going or living there, that I'd never heard before.  My senses were in tune to the vibration of Arizona and picked up on even the littlest sign along the way.  These were, for me, reminders and acknowledgements that, yes, I would find my way there.

 About six months later, as I sat in service at my spiritual center, there was an announcement about a retreat that was open to all the congregants.  I thought, "Well, there it is!  That's when I'm going." At the time, I didn't know how I'd get there but those were just little pieces that would fall into place as I kept taking the steps in the right direction.  Everything came together beautifully and I spent a week in Sedona and a couple of days in Phoenix.  It was everything I had anticipated, and more.

The sign I got today, confirming my journey to Shabhala was my visit to a very calm, uplifting and healing place.  I went to my Naturopathic doctor to receive two treatments.  I have never had medical treatment like this before and as wonderful as it is, it takes a bit to get use to.  My past experiences have been all about putting out the next 'medical fire'.  These fires were symptoms that I was unable to cope with any longer.  I had no medical support to teach me how to cope prior to them becoming full blown bon fires.  Some of this is because there was no proof in blood tests, x-rays, MRI's, etc.  Without concrete Western proof, there was no treatment given.

Don't get me wrong, the two treatments I had, at the naturopathic center, were uncomfortable and had the potential to be painful but this office ensures a comfortable healing experience.  "How do they do this?", you say.  Well...for one, I'm tuned into businesses, the heartbeat of the business and the organism (organization) as a whole.  Kind of the way they treat their patients.  As I tuned in, I heard and saw a pleasant and soothing environment.  I heard and saw a pleasant staff and they were all smiling :) I heard conversation between staff and I was amazed by the supportive, uplifting and positive tone in each interaction.  Really! It felt as if their needs were being met as individuals and in turn, the needs of the medical center were being met with focus, joy, commitment and a deep desire to assist their patients on the path to healing.  And there was even a treatment that needed my full involvement.  I couldn't just passively, sit back and let someone treat me.  From beginning to end, this center teaches people how to take full responsibility of their own health. When I left, my body was tired and sore and had some unfamiliar sensations that I was told to expect.  My soul was nourished, my heart was full and I felt peace and tranquility.  This center treats the root of the problems while trying to sooth the symptoms and nurture the individual while they're at it.  I also feel as though they are looking and seeing me as a whole and health-ful person, which encourages me to do the work to heal and allow the true me to flourish again.  There's empathy, not pity.  There's encouragement, not pressure.  There's communication, not dictating.

I am hopeful for so much, after my experience today.  With knowledge, intuition and support, we can successfully take responsibility for our health and wellbeing.  I also have hope for the organisms (organizations) that are in the health care field.  Doesn't it make sense that a healthy body does better creating an environment for other healthy bodies?  In turn, an unhealthy body will struggle to create an environment to support health.

The blessings that have come from this new doctor's office are many.  I'm incredibly grateful that I have hope again, to find a sustainable level of health and be able to expand and share my gifts with others.

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The Naturopathic Doctor's Visit

Yesterday, I had my first visit ever, with a Naturopathic Doctor.  I've done some alternative therapies in the past, like acupuncture, massage and reiki. Although, I've never had guidance around what combination would work best for me.  I've always felt strongly that, in conjunction with a doctor's expertise and a clear plan for food intake, exercise, the right supplements and treatments, my body would be able to heal.

I was nervous but hopeful about the Naturopathic Doctor.  I did my research ahead of time, and received some great feedback from others with Fibromyalgia, chronic pain and chronic fatigue.  My hesitation around seeing this doctor, was coming from my many challenging attempts to explain to a new doctor what I was going through.  My experience was that I'd be spending time and energy trying to prove myself to someone I didn't know and someone whom I didn't know if they could help me.  On many occasions, it's been a waste of my time and energy.  The feeling of hope came from the feedback I got as well as from a strong feeling that I'm on the right track with my healing.  I looked at this doctor's website and scoured through it to see if there were any red flags or green flags.  I found no red and all green.  One of the green flags was the doctor's approach.  He combines healing practices and beliefs from all over the world and not just America.  The information on his site was in simple terms and quite understandable to a fibro brainy person.  I liked seeing the information about diet and finding the right foods to eat based on your blood type and body type.  There's fancy scientific words for this, but my brain just doesn't retain that stuff right now.  I felt that what I was seeking was all in this one place; a healthy, all natural, alternative healing center that looked at the person as a whole.  Every system in the body needs to work with, not against, all the other systems in the body.  If the pancreas is not working efficiently and effectively, the sugars in the body are irregular leading to hypoglycemia or diabetes and can contribute to fat storage.  Spikes in sugar levels will take their toll on the adrenal glands, which in turn could lead to chronic fatigue.  Now, I'm not a doctor but, even in brain fog, I can see the obvious negative chain reaction illness can cause in the body.  Seeing that everything I had hoped for, in my medical care, may be under on roof, I was excited to see this doctor.

My appointment was 3 hours and nothing short of mind blowing.  One of the first things the doctor told me was that he did not want to hear about any diagnosis or challenges I've been dealing with.  He would read that later in my paperwork, after he did his unbiased exam.  His exam consisted of a finger prick blood test to determine my blood type, blood pressure, multiple pulse areas, examining my eyes and determining body type.  I was comfortable and able to stay in my clothes, not having to put on one of those horrific paper johnnies.  The blood type exam determines the best foods to eat and this, for me was the most crucial part.  I've tried for years to find the foods that work best for my body.  All I've been able to come up with is that sugar doesn't work for me and carbs, which turn into sugars in the body, don't work for me.  Not knowing much else, I just started cutting things out, hoping that I'd begin feeling better soon, until I found myself as a raw food vegan.  Come to find out, I should be eating red-meat protein at least 3 times a day.  Raw vegis don't work for my digestion and I was right about the sugar.  So...as they say in the south, "Butter my biscuits!"  Who knew?  This explains why I was craving meat when I finished my juice fast.  Oh, and he also said that with my energy levels at a 0, a juice fast is not a good idea.  Oops...too late.  The doctor concluded so many things about my current state of health.  He didn't need convincing.  He didn't even need me to tell him what my challenges are. He told me and was right on target.  He told me about my wacky hormone levels, the hypoglycemia,  the chronic pain, chronic fatigue, pancreatic cyst, IBS, poor memory, neuro symptoms connected to difficulty walking and so much more.  He was detailed, understandable and caring.

I was thrilled to have walked away with a meal plan designed to help me heal, therapeutic choices to consider and natural supplements that are formulated for my body type and specific challenges.  And to think, none of them have a big warning on them or a long list of small-print side effects that end in, "possible death".

It's important to me to have a team member who also believes that the body is very intelligent.  If given the love, compassion and support it needs, it can heal itself.  How many of us never put time or thought into how the body would thank us if we are gentle and compassionate towards it.  I now feel as though my team is complete and ready for the healing process to truly begin.



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Clothing is Such a Pain

One of the aspects of fibromyalgia that hit me hard today, was how painful clothing can be.  This is something that I've found difficult to explain to doctors and others who don't have fibro.  For many of us, some days there's muscle or joint pain, some days there's headaches, some days our clothing hurts and most days it's a random combination of any of these.  It's easier to help people relate to the muscle pain because it can be very similar to a strain or exercising to the point where walking down steps is a stabbing agony.  Similarly, describing joint pain can be related to a sensation that many people have experienced.  When it comes to explaining the pain of seams, elastics, buttons or just a fabric rubbing against the skin as painful, I get blank stares.

Today started with an immediate discomfort from the collar on my t-shirt.  It was just a simple round neck t-shirt that I quickly threw on, to go for a walk.  As soon as it touched the front of my neck, I felt the pressure.  It was loose fitting, but just the fabric, gently sitting at the front of my neck, began to trigger the signals to the brain saying, "too tight!".  I've been at this long enough to know that if I didn't change into a v-neck shirt, I'd land myself into bed with a migraine.  I'm pretty sure my husband has gotten use to me jumping into my jeans in the morning and within seconds tearing them off to grab the leggings in the drawer.  He probably thinks it's a fickle girl thing, but nope, it's a pain thing.  I usually wear the basic round neck t-shirt to exercise, because that's what I have, and it doesn't bother me.  Every day is different and I've learned to pay attention, listen and respond to what my body is trying to tell me.

After exercise, it was the sneakers that were boring into the soles of my feet.  I still haven't figured out how a flat surface can feel as though it's drilling a hole into the bottom of my feet, but I can tell you it's torture.  So, those babies got yanked off and put away.  Then it was the seatbelt in the car.  Every turn or bump we went over, the seatbelt would saw just a little deeper into my skin.

I woke up this morning with a plan.  There was one thing I needed to do, and that was to get to my doctor's appointment, and one thing I wanted to do and that was to clean off the dining room table.   Often when I have a day that starts out the way this one did, I continue to adjust, listen and adjust again as quickly as possible so I can avoid a full blown flare.  It didn't seem as though it was too much to expect for the day and I would pace myself.  It's still hard to release, let go and accept that my body is needing some big, roomy clothes and a tempurpedic mattress.  Today the big roomy clothes and bed is where I landed and the dining room table is still cluttered.  I guess I'll save that for another day.

There's a level of stir crazy that I hit when I've been gentle with my body, staying still and listening for days on end.  I have an active spirit and when the brain fog lightens up, an active mind.  So, I push the boundaries at times, hoping that one day I'll just 'mind over matter' the chronic illness and will myself into health.  As much as I do believe that there is a cure for this chronic pain and illness, I also believe that it starts with awareness, inner healing and treatments that look at the body, mind and soul as a whole.  There needs to be a rebalancing of all the working systems of the body.

Gotta go, the wrinkles in this sheet, on the bed, are killing me.

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8 Day Juice Fast, So Far

So, as I mentioned in a past post, my husband and I decided to do a juice fast.  We saw a wonderful documentary about juicing and all it's benefits and Ray was all for it.  As for me, due to my illnesses, I've been wanting to do a juice fast for quite some time.  What held me back was that we didn't own a juicer and we hadn't decided, yet, to invest the money into one.  I'm a big fan of the Gerson Method and knowing that the nutrients in our fruits and vegetables, today, are much less than the nutrients in fruits and vegetables 50 years ago, makes juicing all that more logical.  The amount of vegis we'd need to eat, in one day, to meet our dietary needs, is overwhelming.  When we juice, we can make a 20 oz drink from 12 kale leaves, 8 carrots, two apples, four handfuls of spinach and two thumb size pieces of ginger.  I can't even imagine sitting for a meal and eating that, but the juice is good and good for us.

It's been 8 days, so far.  My husband wanted to do a juice fast to lose some weight and feel healthier.  I wanted to juice to cleanse my cells and create a better flow of energy throughout my body.  Ray has lost 6 lbs, which he's thrilled about and he seems to be feeling good about the process.  He says he's feeling hungry every day, but he's not willing to stop juicing yet.  I'm feeling more energetic, much less brain fog and yesterday, I even offered to drive five teenagers to the beach (on the 4th of July in 98 degree weather).  As you can imagine, everyone was heading to the beach and a 20 minute ride turned into 2 hours.  The teens were thrilled.  They had their iPods, good conversation and we can't forget the favorite radio stations.  I was all set with my bottle of water, juice and ear plugs.

Each day of this fast, or cleanse, I feel there are challenges and benefits.  So far the benefits are totally outweighing the challenges.  I didn't even have a hard time when we brought the beach buddies to get pizza after our sandy, hot day in the sun.

I've never done a fast before, but I've heard a great deal about them.  One of the things I've heard, that intrigued me, was the spiritual connection.  My process, during this fast, has gotten me to thinking more about food and how I relate to it.  When I'm bored, anxious, upset, angry or even celebratory, I want to reach for food.  In the past it's been less about the fuel my body needs to function, at a high level, every day.  Now, I see and feel the connection to fueling the body.  I'm also much more aware of having to find other, healthier ways to manage my emotions.  There is food all around me.  Even unhealthy foods, in the house, that the kids snack on.  I made pancakes for them this morning and not once did I want one.  I could smell bacon later in the day and it smelled good, but I told myself that I can enjoy these things through my other senses.  I enjoy cooking meals for my children, that they'll eat.  I can enjoy comfort foods, without ingesting them.  I use my sense of smell.  The first couple of days, I missed the sensation of chewing or crunching on some type of food, but that seems to have subsided.

This has been a great experience, for me.  Everything from going out to purchase the foods to juice to spending the time washing and cutting and sending them through the juicer.  It's about a 2 hour process every day to prepare for our total of 12 drinks for the next day and it feels good.  I'm doing something positive for my body and I'm getting wonderful results.  I recommend a week long juice fast for everyone (check with your doctor first).

I believe the body has the amazing capabilities of healing itself.  We've just gotten so far away from trusting and listening to our bodies that we've lost the belief that this is true.  The outside of our bodies can heal on their own.  Why not the inside?  Good nutrition, an awareness of what works for the individual, exercise and belief that the body is an amazing bag of bones 'n stuff, that is capable of things we can't even understand.  We just need to allow it to do it's job.

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Inspiration and Another Healing Song

This isn't just any song!  There's a story attached and it keeps getting more and more significant.  Calling All Angels by Train is a song I connected to during a time I felt stuck in the shadows.  The business I started, a yoga studio, was meant to support myself and my triplets.  At the time I was a single mom and needed to have the flexibility as well as the passion for the business I was operating.  Seasons of Yoga had both.  For two years, it grew and looked as though it would be the piece that was missing, financially in my family.  Then the fibro fog hit.  I wasn't even aware that my brain functioning had dropped.  I wondered why attendance was dropping and began to grasp at anything I could think of to save my business.  I made some poor decisions out of desperation, and I used credit to try to keep the business afloat. My business finances began to suffer and my personal finances began to suffer.  I was in a panic, I felt alone and felt there was no where else to turn.  I began to pray and one day, I heard this song.  Calling All Angels by Train, it helped me through, made me feel less alone and gave me some guidance.  I listened to that song over and over again.  Although, my business went into bankruptcy, my healing music, my family and my faith carried me through.

During the same time period, I was producing and hosting a couple of television shows at the community tv station.  One was a talk show called, Divine Time.  It focused on extraordinary people and their stories.  I wanted my guests to share how they came to be guided to the place they are currently. I wanted to know if they felt they were on their divine path and how did they found it?  Hearing these stories inspired me and my hope was that it also inspired my viewers.  One of my guests was an amazing woman named, Denise DeSimone.  Singing and spirituality were a couple of her passions, before I even met her.  My first introduction to Denise was at my spiritual center.  She was the guest singer and the song she sang was, Calling All Angels. A shiver ran through me and the tears began to flow.  At the time, I didn't know that her story would inspire me at a much deeper level than I ever expected  Telling you her story wouldn't do it justice, so here's a link of Denise telling her own story.

It's probably been about seven years since she was on my show and now I'm faced with an opportunity to heal my body.  Granted, I don't have a life threatening disease, but I still connect with her process, intuition and persistence.  Denise has been very busy since she's been cancer free.  She has written a book about her journey, From Stage IV to Center Stage.  I feel very strongly that her story can help all of us who deal with chronic pain, a change in lifestyle that we have little control over and so much more.

As a bonus to this post, my husband and I are in a position to have to replace one of our cars.  It's not safe and will cost us much more to fix than it's worth.  In the process of looking at all our options, none seemed feasible.  Just when I was at my wits end, Denise posted that she was selling her very safe, 7-seater, good condition car.  Everything about this car fit our needs.  Ray enjoys driving a large, solid car and the triplets are tired of being pickled in the back of my Prius. It didn't seem to meet my needs, as much, because I'm a carbon footprint watcher, save the trees, small living type of person.  Then, during meditation, it hit me.  It's the perfect vehicle for me!  Look at who's energy is in this car.  Look at what the purpose of this vehicle was.  She used it to travel from place to place to tell her extraordinary story of healing and it was packed full of her high energy books with the message of healing.  I can't even imagine the healing energy I can receive just by being in her car.

If you're interested in more information about the incredible Denise Desimone, here is her website http://www.denisedesimone.com/


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