Thursday, September 19, 2013

I Motion to Make a Change

I motion to eliminate the phrase, "Fake it till you make it."  I've heard this phrase for many years and even though I didn't, personally, like the phrase, I tried to use it.  Why not?  I thought maybe there was something to it that I wouldn't understand until I tried.  My understanding is that if you can go through the motions of being the person you want to be, eventually you are the person you want to be.  It is possible that had a much too simplistic view of this phrase, but maybe not.  My experience 'faking it' felt like I was an imitation and not the real deal.  It didn't resonate with me and made me incredibly uncomfortable.

So here's the dilemma I bumped up against.  As you all know I manage my share of chronic illnesses.  I thought, maybe if I just fake that I'm well, I'll eventually be well.  I went through the motions of smiling and pretending that I didn't have pain.  I cooked for my family and on days when my chronic fatigue was heightened, I would stay out of bed, dressed for the day and find things to do.  By the end of the day, I was toast.  And I mean crispy burnt toast that is just not appealing.  There was no life left in me. So, I would go to bed (thinking that with the day of activity, I should sleep really well), wake up the next morning and will myself to do the same thing.  I continued for about two months, faking it and I sure as hell didn't make it.  I was worse off than I was when I started and really mad that it didn't work. I blamed myself.  Maybe I didn't do it right.  Maybe I missed a piece of the healthy puzzle and that one piece messed up the process.  Then I remembered that the concept of, "fake it till you make it" never felt good to me.  Ah Ha!  That technique is not for me.  It may be for others, but I new before even trying it that it wasn't for me.  Every day I learn more and more how to listen to my gut.

With some meditations and thoughts on how I accomplished something new, in my past, I remembered that acceptance of where I am is my first step.  Embracing the current state is important because with discourse around where we are now, a block is created.  The discourse can be the motivator to move into a different state, but being upset or angry about he current state will block the energy to change things.

I decided to make friends with my illness.  I have kind names for parts of my body that are challenged and I do forgiveness work around the illness.  This is how I've found peace (most of the time) with what my body is experiencing.  I'm also working on non-attachment to the end result.  If I am dead set on a specific state of health I need to be in, to consider myself healthy, and it doesn't go that way, exactly, it'll cause disappointment.  Having no attachment to the end result, creates less stress and no expectation.  I'm going to be and do for today, not for some expected tomorrow.  I want to live in peace and joy now and I want to live authentically.

Since I motioned to eliminate the phrase, "Fake it till you Make it", I feel it's important to replace it with something that may be more helpful.  I'm going to try, "Practice the new every day with no attachment to the end result".  What we must remember is that as long as we are practicing this new state everyday, we will eventually master it.  In the end, it may look exactly like you had imagined and maybe it won't. Either way, we'll be in a better place than we were before.

Will you join me?  Just, "Practice the New Every Day with Non-Attachment".

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