Are We Really Saving Daylight?

Here in North America, we are closing in on, what we call, Daylight Saving Time.  According to some very brief research, online, I learned that we began to change our clocks in order to save on resources during WWII.  If you're interested in more detailed history click here.  That was a long time ago, so why do we still observe DST?  It has been revised throughout the years, from year round to just Spring and Fall.  The Government seems to feel it still has some benefits.  I question their findings.

Each time we tinker with our clocks, we either lose or gain an hour of sleep.  If we didn't mess with the clocks, our natural adjustment to the shorter days would be gradual and easier.  Wouldn't you think?  It's the natural state of things.  My experience, living in New England all my life, is that it is a bit of a shock to the system to lose an hour of sleep.  We are conditioned to think that this is all to help us with the darker and colder winter months.  In actuality, we aren't really creating more sun or giving ourselves more or less time in the standard 24 hours in a day.

I don't see a reason to continue with Daylight Saving Time.  It adds stress to our lives and it really doesn't benefit us.  It also creates a more complicated existence in a world where there are multiple different time zones and some of us have to mess with our standard of time on top as well.

Anyone who has relatives, business associates or friends in another part of the world, must try to figure out what time it is where they live.  If a group of people from all over the world are trying to connect, there are even more numbers to fiddle with.  I just want to hang with my friends!  I don't want to do math too!

I choose to create simplicity in my life.  I think I'm going to set all my clocks to World Time and when others ask me where I live I'll tell them, Earth.  It may be an adjustment, at first, to learn how to schedule appointments in town, but I'll only have one adjustment moving forward.  Everyone else, who lives by DST, will have two adjustments, every year until something changes.

It's Not All About the Fibro

Although it may seem as though my life revolves around my diagnosis of fibromyalgia, there is so much more to my wonderful life than that.

There's…

*taking my kids to tour high schools for next year
*talking to the greatest sister on earth
*reaching out to my parents and siblings to help move my Mother-in-law
*taking an entire day, to pack my Mother-in-law's apartment, with the kids
*watching my daughters laugh and play together
*seeing my son laugh so hard he loses his breath
*listening to my husband tell me about the toys and various things being thrown back and forth between him and my son
*interacting with my brother on FB
*enjoying wonderful memories of past friendships

There's so much more going on…and I love it!!!


Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

A Day In Slow Motion

The day started with a scheduled MRI to look in on a pancreatic cyst discovered a year ago.  As I got ready to leave the house to go to the hospital, I felt as though I was a beat behind.  Driving the half hour to my appointment, I hit little traffic, went the speed limit and was early.  The drive felt like a dream.

I was told that I needed to get my blood drawn before the MRI and to go back across the entire building to where the blood draw room was.  I said, okay and filled out paperwork while I waited to be stuck by a needle.  I happen to have one vein that nurses have referred to as, "the best vein ever".  Of course old reliable was stuck once again.  Back down the elevator, around the corner, down the hall, following the creepy ramp in the narrow hallway to return to MRI.

The 'johnny' is always too large, hanging off of me as if my body shrunk while sitting in the waiting room.  I was lead through winding halls and doors into a strange room with computers.  One door was blackened and that's where I needed to go.  The door was opened for me and a gust of cold air escaped.  Was I going into the refrigerator to slow my body functioning before the MRI?  No, the monstrous tubular machine barely fit in the room and the slim table with hardly any padding waited patiently for me.  Hook this, tape that, oh there's Old Reliable Vein again, ear plugs, headphones, blanket-I'm cold and a slow ride into the darkness.  I closed my eyes with gratitude for some rest and maybe meditation for a good hour.

I relaxed, got comfortable and...BANG, Clank, Wheeze, Snap.  I heard a voice say, "Now, breath in...hold your breath..............................................................................and breath out."  No rest for the weary.  Pay attention to the instructions and ignore the cold breeze flowing directly in through the one spot in the blanket not covering my arm.  I listened and followed what the voice in the headphones told me.  The perfectionist in me wondered, at times, if I missed a beat.  Did I doze?  Back on track.  Clink, Clank, Bang and the narrow table begins to birth me from the belly of the whale.

Still living in a daze, I relinquished the ever baggy robe and strangely fitted pants.  Ah, my own clothes, which, by the way, had no metal or buttons.  Why couldn't I just wear my own, well fitted clothing, into the spaceship?

Food, I needed food.  I thought maybe life would be returned to my molasses kind of day with a bit of protein.  At home I made burgers and a fried egg.  I couldn't decide.  In light of the long nap I took after eating, the protein didn't bring me back from the walking dead.  Could it be the weather?  I may not know why I'm walking on air, but if it were up to me...and it is... I choose to look at it as a success in levitation!

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Shifting from Reacting to Responding

Of course life comes with stress.  Some of it we can watch float by because, with some discernment, we realize it's not ours to do.  Some stress comes as unanticipated events and some can be prevented.  I'm a huge advocate of combating stress by being pro-active.  For example, the holiday season is commonly a stressful time of year.  The stress can begin as early as October or November with all the marketing beginning earlier and earlier.  Each of us has a choice, we can recognize that the holiday season is always stressful and shrug our shoulders with a "that's just the way it is".  Then when January comes, we've gained weight, feel crummy, maybe even have the flu, the bills begin to roll in giving us a feeling of multiple aftershocks from a 7.5 earthquake.  So much for Seasons Greetings, Peace, Joy, Love and family.  The other choice we have is to take positive action as soon as we recognize the annoying...I mean, beautiful holiday music.  Some pro-active tips would be; create a spending budget and stick to it (remember, it's really not about the 'stuff'), create a time budget (yes, prioritize where your time is best spent), self-care is still at the top of the list and should never drop below 3rd.

When it comes to the unanticipated events, it's important to be aware of the emotions the event stirred up.  The unexpected event throws most people off kilter but at some point, the aftermath must be faced.  This is where we can decide to react or respond.  Reacting to a situation is a knee jerk, self-preservation, out dated instinct.  It usually includes some defensiveness and fear.  This is what creates the stress.  Responding to an unexpected event includes assessing the situation and deciding what the best response would be.  We should be looking for a response that is peaceful, mindful and good for the whole.  Lashing out is a step in the wrong directions.  It may feel good in the moment, but later, feelings are hurt, relationships are damaged and there was no focus on a solution.

Be honest...Are you problem focused or solution focused?  Do you react or respond to stressful situations?  Do you take action to alleviate the stress or do you avoid the reality?

Thank you for reading, forwarding, and following!!!
Terri

Life Can Be Enraging

I'm pretty sure everyone has had the experience of life being enraging.  Through change, grief, things not going as planned or any of the other 50 million, and a half, reasons we can become enraged.  I've had some instances, myself, that I'm not proud of... Especially when things didn't go the way I expected or wanted them to.  For example, I've enjoyed running for as long as I can remember.  In college, I decided that I'd run at least one marathon in my lifetime.  Let's call it an item in my bucket list.  I began to have pain that interrupted my running when I was about 33 years old.  In my mind, I still had this incredible goal and I even pushed myself, increasing my level of pain, to try to fulfill the bucket list expectation.  I got rip-roaring-mad!  I created a scenario where everyone and everything was against me. The doctor's were against me, the trauma in my past (which I blamed for my pain) was a strike against me, the people around me weren't doing anything to help me regain my health, so they must have been against me too.  I felt I had no control, which must have meant that someone had control.  I obviously wasn't being rational because the anger was steaming up my glasses.  I couldn't see clearly.

Fibromyalgia can be an experience that brings times of frustration and times of hope.  Going into flare with the extreme pain, all over the body and impaired brain function is incredibly angering.  I would think, just yesterday, my mind was crisp with words and sentences coming easily; no effort at all.  Today I can't get a full sentence out without losing a word or my train of thought, mid sentence.  During long flares, I eventually let go of the anger and began to accept that my life will be different and I'd adjust.  At times there'd be no flare, maybe some pain, but my mind would be clear.  I'd be sleeping better, laughing and enjoying life and inspiration would come to me.  It was like a sigh of relief.  Extended periods of this relief would make me feel as though, maybe I've learned how to overcome and heal from Fibro.  And a new flare would hit.  This cycle was horribly challenging.  I got very good at grieving the loss of my clear mind and mobility and accepting what is.  My anger came about the third day of a flare, when I realized that maybe it's not going away any time soon.  Everything in my life went on hold.  Why again, is the question I'd ask.  There was a stage of wanting to just stay in flare because it was consistent and I didn't feel the tease of wellness and have it slip through my fingers
again...for the 50 millionth, and a quarter times.

About 8 months ago, I realized that my friend, Lee's advice may help.  I often heard her say, "You have an opportunity to learn how to live in the moment."  The depths of that advice sunk in, finally.  Living for today and doing only what I can do, today, makes for a smoother ride.  If I'm in flare today, I rest.  If my fibro fog is thick, I don't write out the bills.  If pain is low and brain is clear, I pick up a self-paced project and continue with it.

I can't say that I've overcome the occasional feelings of being enraged, but I'm feeling like I'm on the right track.  I have new perspective, that I'm trying on for size.  So far it fits and maybe next week it won't.  No need to think about next week.  Today is here and deserves my full attention.

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Vote on My Halloween Costume

Hi All,

I'm thinking about halloween.  I'm usually not a big fan, but it's nice to play dress-up once in a while.  My kids are going to a party next week and they're deciding what to be.  My son is planning to dress as a video game character and last I heard my middle child was going to be Where's Waldo and photo bomb all the pictures being taken.  My youngest has been in the garage building a wearable refrigerator.  So all this activity go me a-thinkin'.

Which one of the following do you think I should dress up as?

A healthy person- but what exactly does that look like?

A money tree

The triplet shuffle taxi - suspenders holding a cardboard car around me, labeled 'triplet shuffle'

Ghandi - but would I have to shave my head?

Fibro flare...I mean a Zombie - same thing right?  Feeling half dead, walk funny, bags under my eyes,
grabbing ahold of things so I don't fall down, eyes buggy from the prescription meds, mumbled words, jerky movements, hair a mess, maybe even wear my old bathrobe and slippers.


That's a pretty good start for ideas.  Send me your ideas.  I might just use your idea and post a picture here on my blog.

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Your Story is Your Evolution

I was listening to the great futurist, Barbara Marx Hubbard, today.  In an interview she said, "Your story is your evolution".  I was so struck by this statement and I thought, this is what I write about.  This is the message I've been typing into my computer almost every day.  I tell my story, not to say that I have a better story, or that mine is more traumatic than someone else's or even to get recognition for what I've been through.  I share because each post links together to make the whole of my evolution.  I share this as an example of how, within the story, there's growth.

Whether we like it or not, we are growing every day.  Right down to our cells regenerating every day.  If you think about it, we are not in the same body we were in when we were 10 years old.  That kind of thinking blows my mind.  Before I received that little nugget of perception, I never questioned whether or not I was in the same body.  In order for the body to grow into adulthood from the newborn, we must shed and regrow cells.  It all sounds very sic-fi...mostly because I never really thought about it.
Our cells, minds, actions, and thoughts all evolve.

With the knowledge of this ongoing evolution happening in us, around us and through us, we can then decide if we want to be a passive participant in this change or if we want to be active.  An active participant can decide if there will be joy or sadness, learning or zoning out, and even love or hatred.  We've heard the term co-creator and this is what it's all about.

The details of your story are different from mine but the essence of our experiences have brought us to where we are now.  Not one is any better than another.  Each experience has a purpose and we can use what we learn to be an active part of our personal evolution.  Once we all realize that we can be actively involved in how the future unfolds, we are empowered to look ahead instead of living in the past.

I once produced and hosted a talk show called, Divine Time.  The premise of this program was to hear the guests' stories.  I asked about how they got to where they are now from where they were.  I am fascinated by how people live and react in the world as well as the resilience and ingenuity of the human race.

I want you to know that I think your story is amazing.  You're a courageous person for moving through the good times and the struggles.  Keep up the good 'evolution'.

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Be A Part of the Solution

I've always been a problem solver.  It just makes sense to be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem.  I tend to look at many scenarios to a problem and weigh the pros and cons to determine what action to take. And there are always options and choices.  For example, during a time when I was facing the real possibility of being homeless with three children, a good friend of mine said, "You can either live in a single room far from your friends or you can sleep on the streets."  That put things into perspective for me.  I chose to be indoors and it was a transition place for us.  We never had to sleep on the streets.

I've contemplated the 'whys' around those who tend to have many opinions, but don't actually take
action.  Also, some people just gripe with no movement toward reconciliation.  So far, what I've come up with, is that we are conditioned, from birth to rely on others to fix things for us.  And not just fix things for us, but a quick fix is the most acceptable.  Our baby cries and we take her to the doctor where she gets antibiotics.  Those antibiotics are fighting something that the body can fight on its own.  A child falls and an adult picks him up.  We're training kids to rely on adults to pick them up.  An alternative would be to encourage the child get up on their own.  Please keep in mind, these are very simplistic examples and I advocate holding children.

I'm sure you can think of areas in your own life where you either see or have experienced the feeling of expecting that it's someone else's responsibility to solve the problem.

Our society has conditioned us to think that we must be reliant on the government to get our basic needs met.  Our food is controlled by the government, housing is controlled by the government, heating, electricity, even our transportation because if we don't have fuel (provided by the government) we are unable to get to where we need to go.

There are so many alternatives to being dependent on the system the government has set up.  Off the grid power, gardens and canning, building a living environment with recycled materials and electric cars powered by the solar or wind power on our mortgage free house, to just mention a few options.

I agree that we need each other to survive, but we don't need money hungry systems that exploit the hard working citizens around the world.  Every Being on this planet has a right of heritage to have sufficient water, food, shelter and be treated with respect!

I am grateful that we have choice.  There is not much left in our world that is sustainable.  I see innovations and ideas that are and will be produced to solve these issues.  I choose to be a part of the Solution!

JOIN THE SOLUTION REVOLUTION!


Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Great Doctor's Appointment

I can't remember the last time I had a good, never mind, great doctor's appointment.  At least, since I began with this new doctor.

I can go back to when I was a teen and feeling as though I wasn't being heard.  I had back-to-back step throat and each time I saw the doctor, he prescribed a stronger antibiotic.  After two straight months of being sick, I insisted that my parents step in and let the doctor know that if there is no other treatment, the tonsils need to come out.  Six months later, I was in the ER, unable to breath because my airways were too inflamed.  My tonsils finally came out.  Treatments in mainstream medicine followed this same path for many years.

The diagnosis for Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia and IBS, took two years to come, from the time I had symptoms.  My primary care physician continued to tell me that all of these symptoms were 'in my head'.  He told me that there was nothing he could do and that I'd be fine.  I changed doctors and the next prescribed one medication after another with no real improvement in my symptoms or focus on the root cause of the problems.  Doesn't it make sense that if the true issue is...lets say, the immune system, you do what you can to strengthen the immune system?  The medical community I was being treated by continued to try to mask the symptoms.  The outcome was that my symptoms were still robbing me of a decent quality of life and the side effects of the prescriptions were creating more problems.

I felt stuck, alone and at times I felt like I was the crazy one to think that our advanced medical knowledge would help cure me. I was then treated as if I was weak and unable to deal with the stresses of life when I became depressed.  No wonder I was depressed!  Those who I thought would be working with me, in my best interest, to support a healthy me, were sabotaging my health potential.

Not any more!  I am grateful that I am now working with a doctor who hears me and relies on the knowledge I have about my health.  Over the last two months, I've called about discomfort I was having and both time, they were able to fit me into an appointment to help relieve my discomfort.  I've emailed my doctor with response within the same day.  Each response was clear, direct and had logical suggestions as to how to move forward with the issue I had emailed about.  I had an adverse reaction to one of the supplements and I contacted the doctor right away.  Instead of telling me to 'tough it out', he told me to discontinue and gave me other options.

Today was my re-exam visit, 10 weeks from my initial consultation.  I'm feeling like I have a bit more energy these days, I have a much better idea of what is causing my digestion issues, I'm sleeping through the night with no restless legs or teeth grinding.  The exam also showed that there's slight improvement in my health.  It is a slow process and I don't mind at all, as long as there is progress.  I'd rather be the tortoise, taking it slow and enjoying the scenery than the hare who misses everything along the way but loses the race in the end.

There is something to be said about having a supportive team who will assist you across that finish line.


Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

What Are We Chasing?

I'm perplexed.  What is it, exactly, that we're chasing?  People feel the need to be better, faster, have more, be successful, then more successful, have tight and wrinkle free skin, perfect teeth, the best car, another step up the ladder, a crisper mind, etc...

To get where?  Is there a destination, because from what I see, once people reach the goal they set, they are not satisfied.

This, I've even seen with seeking enlightenment.  First of all, what does that mean, to be enlightened?  Will we know it when we get there?  Is it possible to get there?  We throw ourselves and our money into seminars, retreats, the latest technology and silence.  Will these bring us to be enlightened faster?  Maybe, but first, we must find happiness and contentment here.  Right now, where we are.

I've used this metaphor before and I think it helps to explain what I'm getting at.  We are all evolving,
whether we are pushing the process or not.  The push is what causes push-back or resistance. Many of us feel it as stress.  We also know that stress is counterproductive.  Lets take a baby, for instance.  The cute bundle just learned how to crawl.  We're so proud and amazed at how the adults who know how to walk didn't have to actually get down on all fours and teach, step by step, this bundle of joy how to crawl.  There is an innate knowing in us, as humans, that takes us to the next level in our evolution.  I don't think any of us would see the baby crawl for the first time and grab her under the arms, stand her on her feet and expect her to walk.  And we surely wouldn't stand her on her feet, let go, see her fall and scold her for not doing what we want her to do.  How silly would that be?

Ok, we're adults and we've all had our experiences of going through some stuff.  Some we willed ourselves through and some we kicked and screamed the whole way because we felt it was the wrong direction for us.  What do we know?  I'm sure each of us can look back at those kicking and screaming times and see now, that they were important turns in our lives.

Is it possible that we could enjoy today, embracing all that we are and all that there is to be grateful for?  Could we also and at the same time, be wowed by our ideas of the future?  Instead of blocking out today's gifts because we're in such a hurry to reach tomorrow, just lean into the ideas we have of tomorrow.  Our energy can be conserved for enjoyment now and not burned up trying to reach a future something.  Tomorrow will come and with a simple and graceful leaning toward where we'd like tomorrow to bring us, we can co-captain this ship.

Make a shift from chasing to leaning.


Thanks for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Hey...Where You Rushing Off To?

Hi, how are you? Sorry, gotta run.

Let's see...
  meeting, dry cleaning
kids to soccer, Facebook blocker
  banking, proposal tanking
leads, must appease
  network, cook the pork
Buy a clutch, learn Dutch
  exercise, compromise
Clean the house, kiss the spouse
  Call Mom, teen to the prom

Ahhh...Vacation.  Finally some rest

Day 1
5am- Airport
7am-flight
10am-arrival
11am-Tickets to Vegas Show
1pm-lunch
2pm-guided tour
4pm-drive to dolphin show
5pm-tickets to dolphin show
7pm-dinner reservations
10pm-hotel

Day 2
7am-Breakfast restervations
9am-amusement park
11am-stand in line for noon show
5pm-Dash to dinner theatre
10pm-dancing
1am-hotel

Day 3
7am-breakfast reservations
9am-bus tour driving by famous people's houses
1pm-lunch at theme restaurant
3pm-boat ride and drinks
5pm-hotel to work on proposal
7pm-room service dinner. proposal isn't finished
Midnight-falling asleep, drooling on proposal

Day 4
7am-call from boss
11am-airport
1pm-flight home
4pm-taxi to work from airport


Hey, good to see you.  How was vacation?


How is this working for you?

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

How Do I Contribute?

A huge question that I searched to find an answer to was, how do I contribute now that I have physical challenges.  I'm sure everyone can relate to this question on some level.  Even if you don't have a chronic illness, you've had the flu or broken a bone or maybe even allergies.  These things force you to shift from how you were in the world to contributing in another way.  It isn't easy to be a productive citizen then find yourself in bed for a few days...or more.  Many of us have even been taught to 'tough it out'.  I know that when I was in the work force, I had to be on my death bed with sickness before I would dare call into work.  Even if I had accumulated three months worth of sick days, my boss would always make me feel as though I was either faking it or taking advantage.

There are so many emotions that come up when we are derailed and laying in bed.  There's the guilt of feeling as though you must complete something.  There is the feeling of not having time to be sick. In reality, we probably get sick because we didn't take the time to care for ourselves in the first place.  Then there's the feeling of letting people down because they were relying on us.

Are you relating to any of this?

Now lets look at those of us with chronic illness.  We find ourselves on a downward spiral.  Metaphorically, we find ourselves with a cold that takes us away from our regular work and contribution in the world.  We are so struck with conflict within, that once we get use to the feeling of being sick all the time, we convince ourselves that we can still function with a bit of a cold.  It progresses to the flu that hangs around for a month then two and we begin to panic that we'll never recover from the flu.  As much as 'toughing it out' is ingrained in us, there's only so much push through the body can physically do before it collapses.  If we collapse, how and what can we possibly contribute to the world?  On a more basic level, how can I possibly support my family financially if I have the flu with no clear cure?

Our world really puts a great deal of pressure on us to make the money to pay for all the, so called, necessities to function in the world.  My experience is that we literally buy into people convincing us that we need things.  We don't need all that.  What we need is our health and to be pro-active about maintaining it.  We need clean food, clean water and shelter.  We need each other.

It is my belief that each and every one of us, no matter what our physical, mental or spiritual status is, has something positive to contribute.  It may be difficult to peel ourselves away from the expectations our society has taught us over our lifetime, but it's crucial to look beyond those misguided, possibly, well intended beliefs.  We must listen to our own voice!  It's the only way to uncover what it is that each of us is called to contribute.  I've heard many times that each of us has a gift to contribute to a thriving world as unique as our fingerprints.  No one can tell you what your gift is.  It is yours to open, discover and share.

Laying here in bed day after day, with physical discontent, I share with you words and concepts that I'm called to write down.  I offer these posts, publicly because they are my inner most journey that may just touch one life.  I have no expectation of anything in return.  Sharing my insights, intuitions, fears, hopes and dreams brings me joy!  This is my gift and my contribution for today.

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Growing Every Day

I've discovered another gift of fibromyalgia.  It seems as though I have more empathy and compassion for others.  Not just those who are diagnosed with fibro or a chronic illness, but everyone.  The more I am loving and compassionate to myself regarding my experiences in life, the more I am called to be there for others.

My wonderful Mom and amazing sister, both, have worked with Seniors throughout their careers.  When I was younger, as a shy and scared kid, I was afraid of older people.  I'm not sure why, but I connected with young children much easier.  My education, experience and career was mostly with infants through third grade.  Toddlers were my favorite.

During the last month, my Mother-in-law, who is a beautiful 71 year old woman, became very ill.  Her body was failing her and she went from the hospital to a rehabilitation facility.  My husband is an only child and he spends about 20 hours a week caring for his 87 year old father, who lives by himself two towns over.  My Mother-in-law, I call her Ma, has lived on her own for 30 years and prides herself on her high level of independence.  When it became clear that, between the diabetes and COPD, she may never be able to live independently again, she needed some support.  I was called to step up and get over my weird fear and see what I could do to help.

Have you ever gently and cautiously leaned in a new direction in life and realized that you really
enjoyed the new direction?  I've impressed myself.  I had no idea that I'd be good at juggling...I mean managing all the doctors, nurses, social workers, medications, overseeing care, searching for long term care and being a consistent and nurturing support for Ma.  She and I joke and laugh.  We've cried over some of the changes and look forward to the new coming our way.  Ma and I also have a pretty good agreement.  When I need to care and nurture myself, I do just that.  Sometimes it's a day of rest and sometimes it's many days in a row.

Now, don't get me wrong...It's not all rainbows and unicorns.  I just choose to focus on the rainbows and unicorns because they bring me joy.  The other stuff is a contrast that reminds me to move through with gratitude and to focus on the blessings.

Who knew I'd marry an amazing man in 2012 and have a great opportunity to get to know my Mother-in-law, so well, in 2013.

I'm growing every day and it feels wonderful to welcome this new growth and a new family member with open arms and an open heart!

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

What It All Comes Down To

The last four days have been physically challenging and when my body is challenged, it effects my moods, energy and thoughts.  With a keen awareness of the subtle shifts in those three areas, I do my best to gently self correct.  Today was especially difficult.  My sense of inner direction was obviously low on batteries because exercise, changing my thoughts and extra rest were not soothing the irritability.  The last resort was to make a call to my doctor and go in for some treatment.

Through the tornado of the morning, my husband held tight.  Once I made my appointment to get some help, I could see the relief in his windblown look.  This wonderful man jumped into action taking on my 'must-do' list and making sure there was healthy food waiting for me when I got back.  He also did the triplet shuffle (car pooling the kids here, there and everywhere) at the end of the day.

When the kids got home, my middle girl crawled into bed next to me, snuggled in and told me about
her day.  It was comforting to hear her excitement and be let into the mysterious world of a teen.

My other two angels popped their heads in the doorway and said hi.  Their bright eyes and beautiful smiles took me away from the discomfort I was having.

I'm grateful for my wonderful husband, Ray, who often reminds me through words and actions that, "we're in this together".  I feel blessed by the compassion of each of my thirteen year old children.  I am incredibly appreciative that they chose me to be part of their family.

Through pain, irritation, impatience, self judgement and exhaustion, there's gratitude, appreciation, blessings, angels, and love.

What it all comes down to is LOVE!

I love my family with every part of my being!

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Perfect Example...Must See

This post is a follow-up to my post, Where you are is exactly where you're meant to be.

I know I just posted my blog for today, but I just had to share this amazing video.  An amazing girl with a disability and her older loving brother...


Please Watch.  Oh, and have a tissue close by :)

Where You are is Exactly Where You're Meant to Be!

There is so much judgement in the world.  Too much if you ask me.  We are brought up with rules and expectations.  For example; it is expected that we will succeed and in that sense, it means that we will have a great job, make lots of money and be everything to everyone.  And I can't forget how important it is to not be chronically ill or become very sick.  Did you know that sickness is looked at as a weakness?  Of course you knew that!  Did you know that it's not the truth?  If sickness were thought of as a weakness, it would translate into every ill person being weak.

I see it differently!  The ill must have courage.  Those with chronic disease must find meaning in alternative places.  The physically challenged are forced to function in this world in unique ways.

I see that in our evolutionary time, everyone has challenges.  They may be physical, financial, social, spiritual, etc. but why?  Why does it seem as though there is more struggle in the world now, in 2013?  Could it be because we each must learn our own way of functioning in this ever changing world?  Challenge creates an opportunity to grow.  Without the challenge, and some mystics call it suffering, we may not be motivated to grow and change to make ourselves and the world a better place.

Once we acknowledge that there is a reason for our challenge and we embrace the opportunity to be
better, the feeling of suffering will lift.  The challenge may not go away, but with new perspective, our true gifts will emerge.  Each and every one of us has a very unique gift to cultivate within.  We have a responsibility to find it, learn about it, explore it and then...share it with the world!  We need every soul on this planet to go within and be amazed at what is there.  Energy flows and excitement grows.  Remember the feeling you had as a child, when you rode a bicycle for the first time, or you completed your first science project or maybe your first kiss.  When we uncover our unique gifts, it feels better than all those things put together.

Embrace where you are now.  If it weren't for this place, you wouldn't be able to get to the next. The way we embrace the challenges is with self kindness and nurturing.  It's ok, it's not selfish, it's self-love and that's a good thing!

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Psst...Have You Heard?

A Frank Conversation With Myself

This is a conversation I've had to have with myself on many occasions throughout my life.  When I just can't take my behavior anymore, I sit myself down and ask the difficult questions.  The last time I did this, it was about my state of health.

Me:  Are you happy?

Myself:  No, I'm sick and I feel broken.

Me:  Do you want to get better?

Myself:  Yes, but..

Me: No buts!  Let's focus on the 'yes'

Myself:  It might not be possible for me to get better.  No one I know has healed Fibromyalgia and on top of it, I have tons of other things wrong with my body.  Plus, in order to heal, I'd need energy and I have none.  It feels hopeless.

Me:  Do you want to get better?

Myself:  Yes

Me:  I can't hear you....

Myself: Really, are you going to make me shout it?

Me:  Yes :D

Myself:  YES!!

Me:  Then you must believe that you can be healed.  So what if you don't know anyone who's been cured of Fibro before.  Maybe that's your path in life...to show others that it's possible and that there's hope.  It's not like you've never been a trail blazer before...think back at the numerous times in your life when you had a desire that seemed unreachable, there were no role models or maps to get your there and who got you there?

Myself:  Me.

Me:  That's right.  All those times were preparing you for this.  You needed to practice courage, creating a path that worked and taking some massive action.  Can you think of a challenge you may have had, with any of those past desires that you turned into successes?

Myself:  Uhmmmm....well...not really.  It just happened.  I had a deep desire and I made it happen.

Me:  What do you mean by, "I made it happen?"

Myself:  Well, I got this level of intensity where I wouldn't let anyone or anything get in my way.  It kind of felt as though I forced the issue, pushing so hard and sometimes got angry.  Now that I think back, my actions and intensity may have been misunderstood as aggressive by some.  It was the attitude of I want it and I want it now.

Me:  Is this the way you would want to achieve good health?

Myself:  Wow, when you put it that way, the high level of intensity seems to be the opposite of good health.  The feeling I had when I felt as though I was fighting against everyone and everything to get what I desired.....oh, not a good feeling.  I never intended to fight against anyone to get things.

Me:  Do you think there's another way?

Myself:  There must be! I've had enough life experience to realize that I don't need to fight my way through to get my desires met. Once I think about the desire and relate it to positive emotion and feelings, it flows to me.  Whether I get intense or insistent, doesn't determine the outcome.  It's the joy and peace around the desire that draws it to me.  That must mean that as long as there is a thought of a desire, connecting the desire to positive emotion and taking peaceful action, I can eliminate the pushy intensity.  



Have you ever had a conversation, with yourself, that looked a bit like this?

Thank you for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

A Gift of Non-Attachment

I consider my current understanding on non-attachment a gift of Fibromyalgia.  I was given the opportunity to release any connection of who I am from what I do.  I worked really hard, for many years to be able to boast about my four successful businesses and I held my status of a single mom with triplets as a badge of honor.  Well, who wouldn't with many commenting, "How do you do it?" (like I was some superhero). There were times my over developed ego would hang that plaque of pride and my under utilized essence would quiver at the immaturity of my human state.  There was a time when I was angry at Fibro for robbing me of those titles.  I morned the loss of what I thought was my identity.  I realized that the pain of  loss was because I was so attached to the idea that these things defined me and if they didn't exist, I wouldn't either.  Well...I'm still here.

I had an earlier lesson around non-attachment that stands out for me.  My yoga studio was going bankrupt and I was in a panic.  My attorney suggested that no judge would allow me to continue with my current car payment if I had no income and I totally freaked out in his office.  It went something like this...WHAT?!...I CAN'T GET RID OF MY BLEEPIN' CAR!  I HAVE TRIPLETS WHO ARE TODDLERS! HOW THE BLEEP DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GET THEM TO DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENTS?! WHAT IF THERE'S A BLEEPIN' EMERGENCY? THERE'S NO WAY I'M GIVING UP MY BLEEPIN' CAR!!!!! Then I promptly left because I was so embarrassed by my behavior and, umm... language.

About a week later, I had an interesting dream.  In my dream, I was dreaming that I woke up and walked out of my bedroom and saw something out the window.  There were two men in dark blue jumpsuits walking around my car.  I panicked, went back to my bedroom to throw on a bathrobe and when I returned, the men were gone and so was my car.  When I woke up...for real, my car was right where I parked it.  This was one of those dreams that I've become accustomed to, so I payed close attention.  I knew that I had a choice.  Either I have control of when and how I release my car or a judge orders it be taken at some unknown time or place.  I had no idea how the system worked, so of course my mind went to the most unpleasant experience.  What if I were out with my children and the car was impounded from a parking lot.  I allowed myself to release my very strong attachment to the car and returned to to the dealership.  I had no plan for transportation but I did have faith that all would be fine.  Some amazing gifts came from this practice of non-attachment including a free automobile coming into our lives about a year and a half after I gave mine back.  Just to let you know, I lived in a town that has only intermittent town buses.  Transportation was tricky at times but it taught me a great deal about prioritizing travel.

Living a life of non-attachment has opened my heart and soul to what is truly important.  I am not defined by Fibro or my degree or the businesses I created or even by being a mom to triplets.  I am defined by the gifts I have to share with the world.  I'm me.

Thanks for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri

Off-Roading

The road I'm meant to be on is becoming more and more clear to me every day.  I know I'm on the right path, or road, when everything flows.  I feel a resonance within.  My relationships are ignited with conversation and a high level of quality.  I feel at peace with myself and the events happening in my life.  It doesn't matter what the events are.  I am able to observe the ebb and flow of life with a foundation of joy.  Even events that I've defined as stressful or down right traumatic are now defined as interesting opportunities for growth.

Off-Roading is another story.  I usually find myself off-roading once I've been going in the wrong direction for a bit.  Have you ever had the experience of driving someplace new, you unknowingly miss the exit you needed to take and you don't realize it until three or four exits later.  I've even looked at the exit numbers and thought that the numbers were counting down when they were actually going up.  This is a great example of my state of denial.  Of course I didn't miss the exit, the exit numbers are numbered incorrectly.

My first indication of being off road, is when my moods become more challenging.  My daily routines
feel more taxing and I'm just plain old unhappy.  Another way to describe it is that I become uneasy or I have dis-ease.  It is impossible to feel resonance inside when there is dis-ease.  The lack of ease blocks the flow and throws us off course even more.  I can sometimes go as far as getting angry at my discovery of off-roading, knowing that I am aware of the difference between being on my path and off-roading.  As if knowing the difference will automatically keep me from ever doing it again.

As frustrating as this may be, there is a blessing to off-roading.  Having the awareness of the difference between being on the right path and off-roading is important.  When we notice we are off course...and it doesn't matter how far off course we feel we are, we just self correct.  How exactly do we do that?  Well, I'll tell you.  First think back to when you were on course, things were going well and there was an ease to each moment.  What were you doing and how were you feeling?  Most of us have self-care routines and we can stay on course as long as our routines are in place.  For example, I exercise every morning and if I miss a day or two, I find myself a bit out of sorts.  If I go back to the basics of my self care routine, I create a U-turn and get back on my path.  Constant self correction is a good thing.  Our inner GPS will alert us if we go off course and if we pay attention, we can 'recalculate'.  If we ignore the alerts we'll be way off course.  Expect that self correction will be something we will do for as long as we are evolving, so be patient, compassionate and kind to yourself through it all.  There is no need to get hard on yourself or punish yourself, just recalculate and get back on course.

If we didn't have the experience of feeling uneasy when we go off course, we wouldn't have the opportunity to correct our direction and get back on our path.  In other words, years from now, we'd be very unhappy to find ourselves in Alaska when we were shooting for Hawaii.  Or...at least I would.  I don't like the cold.


Thanks for reading, forwarding and following!!!
Terri