Friday, June 14, 2013

Doing What I Know Helps Even When it's Hard

I want so badly to be able to focus on my family; triplets and husband.  My kids recently got involved with the film industry and modeling.  I am passionate about supporting their dreams and exploration in the world.  After a month of waiting to hear about some work, the kids have been very patient and today, they got booked for a movie.  They'll be extras, which is a great place to begin.  I'm so happy for them and can't wait to let them know that they will be on set on Monday.

The overwhelm I feel is around my illnesses, my multiple doctor's appointments and the daily in-the-moment status.  Today, I've been out of the house and a bit more active than I've been all week.

 It feels as though the movement is causing some physical and emotional discomfort.  Experiencing Fibromyalgia for 10 years and I still have days when I feel like this is just weird!  Why is my movement causing discomfort.  I just want to be in bed, and that may be the depression talking.  Sadness is always tugging from within and I keep it at bay most of the time.  Today, the sadness is seeping out my pours.  I feel emotional bubbling just under my skin and my eyes are leaky.

I planned to go swimming after my doctor's appointment this morning, but forgot my swim bag and missed my window of pool time.  It may seem counter-intuitive with the discomfort in my body, but I'm going to go for a joggle.  Just maybe the energy in my body is stuck and needs some shaking up.  A wobbly jog or slow walk can only do my mind and body good, as long as I keep it moderate.  I tend to overdue it once I get outdoors.

I'll be back in a bit to finish this blog and let you know how it goes... Feel free to read and comment on some of my other posts until I get back (elevator music playing).


Oh, you're still here.  Excellent!  It was a success.  Getting out into the fresh air and some exercise was helpful.  I feel, well, cleansed.  I do think it was an energy build up, as well as toxins that needed to be released.  I'm not so overwhelmed, I'm much more in the moment and the sadness has subsided (not gone, but better).  It can be so hard to follow through with what I know helps when all I want to do is crawl into bed.

One more thing before I go to get ready to tell the kids the good news about being in a movie.  While on my runish/walkish exercise, I was again presented with some 'breadcrumbs'.  At first I didn't realize they were signs, but Universe really knows what I need, in the moment.  Heading down the street, a shiny object caught my eye (ok, those of you who know me...sparkly things do distract me), and when I looked at it I realized it was a nut.  Not the type you eat, but he kind that a bolt goes through.  No big deal, there are a lot of junk things on the side of the road.  On my way back home, something caught my eye and it was another nut.  Two...and I know there are no coincidences, so I had to giggle.  That
was my turning point, the giggle.  So, I guess I'm either nuts or I have a screw loose :)  Either way, I'm feeling better and I'm proud of myself for pushing through to do what I know helps me heal.






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